Lovely. Randy photoshopped on a bikini body.

And now the top 16 are singing Michael Buble’s “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” It’s nicely done, very well lip synced.

Next week will be Rolling Stones week. That should be perfectly disastrous.

Didi is up first. She’s in the top 12 and gets to have a seat on the Tool Stool. Yay!
Siobhan is next. She’s wearing a bird in her hair. Seriously, it is not a good time to be a bird in America. She’s in. Have a Tool Stool, Siobhan!
Paige and Katelyn are up together. One of them is in, and one is going home. Katelyn will go, but I don’t think Paige should be in the top 12. Paige is in the top 12, and Katelyn goes home. And she’s worse in her swan song than she was Tuesday night. Then she breaks down crying. Poor girl.

Casey is in!
Tim is also in!
So it’s between Lee and Todrick. Randy says they both deserve a spot, but Lee really does and has been consistent.
Lee is in the top 12!
Todrick is out.

Katie has been crying throughout the whole show. She must be sure she’s going home.

Scott Macintyre & Matt Giraud are out at pianos doing “Tell Her About It.” Oh, and now a little quickie dueling solo action. That was a fun little ditty. So Scott has an album out now, good to hear. Matt has a #1 single on the iTunes jazz charts.

Crystal looks very pretty and glowy again tonight. She is in the top 12. Yay!
Michael is up. Kahra says that the person listening to Michael sing a song he connected to personally really FEELS it. Really? Because I listened to that and did not feel anything but not-getting-it. Anyway, he’s in the top 12.
Lacey is up, and she’s in. Good for her.
Aaron Kelly is up. He’s in. I hate you, tweener voters. You can go die for all I care.
Because that means that the only guys left are Andrew and Alex, and one of them has to go home.

Andrew is in, Alex is out. So so wrong.

Poor kid, he’s really close to tears. And Siobhan is totally in tears. They should let him stay and have a top 13. I mean, they expanded the top 12 to 13 last year for boring old Anoop Desai, and they can’t expand it for Alex? FAIL.

So it’s now down to Katie and Lilly. Yes, Lilly is wearing birds again.

What the WHAT???? Katie’s in, Lilly’s out?? Seriously, I’m punching the next tweener I see. Punching in the FACE. I’m glad this is my last Idol season, because I’m tired of the tweeners ruining my life every spring. Hate you, tweeners. Hate you hard.

Ooooh. Simon is wearing dark grey. Like that color on him. Ryan calls Kahra Simon’s binky, and it’s a whole weird thing, especially since Simon doesn’t know what a binky is.

01 Lee Dewyze is doing “Fireflies” by Owl City. He sounds good. A few pitch problems here and there, but mostly it’s good. Apparently, this is an electronica song. RANDY: For me, it was a strange song choice. Couple pitch problems here and there. You made it work, you worked it out. ELLEN: Yeah, I like that you made it a little rock. Yeah, there were a lot of pitch problems, but I don’t think that’ll matter. I’ve talked to a lot of people who have crushes on you. You’re adorable, it was great. KAHRA: You look confident tonight. That’s what we’ve been waiting for. I think you actually made the song a better song with your interpretation. Not your best moment, but very solid. SIMON: There’s nothing to rave about with that song. You didn’t have a moment. Having said that, I’ve seen the progress over 3 weeks, I’m really glad you’re here, I think you’ve got a great shot at making the top 12. SARAHK: He’s in.

02 Alex Lambert is doing Ray Lamontaigne’s “Trouble.” This is quickly becoming an overdone Idol song. That said, he’s doing this very well. A little understated, actually, but I love it. He probably could have done more with it, but he didn’t need to. Just love his voice. RANDY: I liked it, I just wasn’t jumpin’ up and down. I feel like you could have done a little bit more with it, and even slowed it down. ELLEN: Boo! Boo! Boo! You’re becoming a mushy banana. You are consistently good, every single week, you get better and better and better. I love your innocence. You need more confidence, but don’t become cocky. No one likes a cocky banana. KAHRA: The only thing standing in the way of you winning is you. You have so much, but you’re still stiff. Be you. Let go. SIMON: I think you’ve kinda gotta get yourself mentally somewhere else. We’ve never really seen you relaxed and having a good time. You’ve kinda gotta imagine Randy in a bikini. Stop staring down the lens and concentrating on the cameras. You’ve got a really good, distinct voice, and people like you as a person. You’ve got to get that out of your head. I will get Randy in a bikini next week if you’re here. SARAHK: He’s totes here.
(more…)

Ellen’s sitting on Simon’s lap, whispering sweet nothings or kissing him or something.

Simon says this is the worst night to go, because you’re so close to the top 12 and then you fail.

01 Katie Stevens is doing Kelly’s “Breakaway.” Wow, she’s pitchy early in the song. And less early. Ok, she’s pitchy for most of the song. No intro videos, by the way. The song’s really short, I expect they all will be, and her voice was shaky at times and pitchy at others. This is the worst she’s been, actually. RANDY: A’ight, yo. First one out the box tonight. Kelly Clarkson’s one of the greatest artists we’ve ever had, and that’s one of my favorite songs ever written. SARAHK: Mine too. RANDY: And it was karaoke. It just didn’t work for me. I didn’t get it. ELLEN: First of all, I like that you took a young song. That was a great song choice. I didn’t feel those words. I didn’t feel you breaking away. It’s a singing competition, but let’s see some personality. KARA: You have a great radio voice. SPIKE: And face. A great radio face. SARAHK: She’s pretty. And she’s 17, give her a freakin’ break. SPIKE: Hello… Evil? KARA: Blah blah blah. SIMON: I think this has been very confusing for you, because you’ve had an awful lot of advice. You’ve taken that advice. I think your issue is you haven’t decided what kind of artist you want to be. The problem was that the 2nd half of the song didn’t go as it should have done, and you kind of sucked… all the energy out of it. But I give you a 10 out of 10 for effort.

02 Siobhan Magnus is singing “House of the Rising Sun” as a special surprise for her dad, because she grew up listening to her dad sing it on the piano. That’s sweet. She’s starting it out a capella and very pretty. And when the musicians come in, it gets even better. Ok, that was fantastic, definitely voting for her. RANDY: You know I’m already a fan. Every week you surprise us. That was different, started out on a somber note. We give you a lot of advice, and you don’t listen. Keep doing that, because it’s working, it’s hot. ELLEN: I’m from New Orleans, I know that house. You are why I love music. Because it’s supposed to move you. I was captivated, I love what you did with the song, you made it current, and you’re spectacular. KARA: I loved the a capella vibe at the front. And the thing about you is you are so unique and different, week to week I’m surprised by you. SIMON: I wasn’t quite such a fan of that. I thought it was all a bit weird. If this was the first time I’d seen you, I would have real doubts. You didn’t do anything different. I was underimpressed. There was no moments in that. It was all a bit plodding, a bit boring, a bit dark. SARAHK: We’re on yet another break.
(more…)

The sound for this show sounds like it’s being run through a robot filter.

Ooh. Simon thought he got praise of one contestant wrong and that when he watched it back, one of the contestants was so bad that he had to turn it off.

Oh dear. Group song is “I’ve Gotta Feeling.” I’m embarrassed to say that I like this song. Except the parts where they’re just talk/yelling. But the “I’ve gotta feeling” parts are catchy. You don’t have to shame me, I shame myself often on this account. They’re totally lip syncing this one. And yes, they sound better than the BEPs. Not surprising.

Tim is safe. He and his stupid hair will be back next (this) week.
Todrick is asked to keep standing for a while.
Big Mike is safe.
Casey is safe.
So now it’s between John and Todrick. I think John will go home.
John is out. Todrick is safe.

Lee is safe.
Aaron is safe.
Alex, one of the most adorable boys ever, is safe.
It’s down to Jermaine and Andrew. There’s no way Andrew goes home.
Andrew is safe. Jermaine is out.

Ryan asks if Jermaine thinks his mouth got him in trouble. Jermaine says no. He says he respects a lot of the guys who are there doing their own thing. And in God there is no failure. And “most of all, everybody need to go out and get a onesie.” If you say so.

Now Danny Gokey is singing his new single “My Best Days Are Ahead of Me.” I like him. And apparently he went with a country sound for his album, because Randy Travis told him he needed to. He does sound good with the country flair. And he’s about to go on tour with Sugarland.

It hurts me that Bones won’t be back until April.

Lilly is safe.
Paige is safe.
Oh man. Looking at the rest of the row, I fear Didi is going home. :(
Katie is safe.
So it’s down to Didi and Michelle. Kara says that as moved as she was in the room last night, when she watched it back later, it wasn’t off. And she thinks Michelle may be in jeopardy.
Didi is safe! Michelle is out. Wow. America apparently agrees with me. And I wonder if Michelle’s who Simon was talking about.

Katelyn is safe. And also now wearing birds on her ears. I’m starting to fear for the bird population.
Crystal is safe.
Siobhan is safe.
Which means it’s down to Haeley and Lacey, both of whom I had picked to go home. I think it’ll be Haeley. Lacey’s wearing a peacock in her hair. Simon says it’s very obvious who’s going to go home.
Haeley is out. Lacey is safe.

Ryan asks what she’s gonna do when she gets back to school. “Um… learn?” Haha.

I’m loving this swan song music, whatever it is. Someone tell me what it is, so I can buy it. Haeley is fighting tears through her final song.

So that’s it for last week. I’ll get to blog tonight’s show either tonight or in the morning, so please come back for it!

01 Crystal Bowersox has a twin brother, whom she describes as a square. Yeah, well my sibs call me the same thing, so he must be awesome. She’s singing CCR’s “Long as I Can See the Light” and plans to put a gospel twist on it. I love how she has her dreads pulled back in a bulbous ponytail. No, I really do love it. She looks so much cleaner tonight. And holy smokes, her voice. She’s brilliant, and this is brilliant, and she’s kind of the one to beat this year. RANDY: Yo, Crystal. I gotta say this. To me, in life, truth is reality. You are the truth. You do what you do. I just love that you’re not trying to be anyone else. I love that girl. That girl is hot! ELLEN: That is pure, raw, natural talent. There’s nothing forced, nothing pushed. I was so scared for you, and I’m so glad you’re here today. KAHRA: You completely recovered from last week. It just didn’t fit you. This is who you are. You are Americana rock. Tonight, you actually hit a new level. SIMON: I know how sick you were, you really were ill, and I didn’t know if you were gonna be back here this week. What I like is that you didn’t play the whole sympathy thing, you chose a great song. I completely misunderestimated you from last week. This was like the moment we realized with Kelly Clarkson that we’ve got a serious artist here. And I think we’ve got a really serious artist with you. Congratulations. SARAHK: Ok, I have to say, she just looks a whole new level of gorgeous tonight that she hasn’t looked in the past. She has like a glow. Oh, also? I’d love to see her do something by Dave Matthews Band.

02 Haeley Vaughn is singing Miley Cyrus this week. I hope it’s that one Miley song out of all of them that I actually like. And it is. “The Climb.” She makes headbands and puts giant, ugly flowers on them. And then wears them onstage. She doesn’t know how to not smile, but she’s gonna try not to smile as much onstage tonight. I’m not loving this. It’s hella pitchy, and when she tries to do this high note at the end, she gets cracky. RANDY: You want me to keep it real, right? It didn’t work for me, man. It was excruciating. It was so pitchy and just so not right for you. You had no connection to the song at all. ELLEN: First of all, don’t ever stop smiling. You’re adorable. I did not feel you connected to the song. I didn’t feel like it worked out. KAHRA: You have kind of the Alex Lambert factor, you have people rooting for you at home. You’re real, and you’re a really good performer. Unfortunately, honey, you need about a year of strengthening your instrument. Because you do have talent, but it’s very inconsistent. SIMON: Look, I agree, I don’t want to make this any worse than it already is. Because it was a complete and utter mess. In theory, it should have worked. There’s a bit of an irony in you singing that song about climbing, when really, you fell off. SARAHK: Yeah, it was bad. And I’m sorry that Kahra did the condescending “honey” thing with you. No one should have to endure that.
(more…)

02 John Park. “Gravity.” Man, what is with all the gettin’-it-on music? This was boring, too. Vocals were fine, but meh. RANDY: You didn’t add anything to it. ELLEN: Right song choice, not enough soul, better than in rehearsal. Try to feel the song more. KAHRA: Way better than last week. My concern for you is the connection. I don’t always believe it. You need to let loose, don’t be safe. SIMON: I think “Purple Haze” may get their lead singer back this week. It’s what I call a so-what? performance. In 20 minutes, we’re going to forget that. SARAHK: Yep.

Apparently, Ellen’s thing is to dress down, and Kahra’s is to dress up. Gotta go with Kahra on this one.

03 Casey James. He’s wearing a girl’s shirt. SPIKE: So are you, pet. SARAHK: Yes, well, I’m a… nevermind. CASEY doesn’t own a TV. He’s one of those. He also has some secret pre-show ritual that he won’t tell us about unless he makes the top 10. He’s singing “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Electric guitar and everything. He’s great, love him. Wow, and he’s doing a big ol’ guitar solo right there on the American Idol stage. RANDY: I love you channeling all those rockers. I don’t know if you did the best vocal, but I could see you doing this music as an artist and winning. ELLEN: Such a great song. Sounded great, loved the guitar. On paper everything is there, but there’s a stiffness about you. Perform more, but everything else is great. CASEY: I’ll give you more. KAHRA: Look, we all know, the cougar is a fan. Tonight you took two steps backward for me. Tonight everything that was distinct about you went away. SIMON: Did he not return your calls, darling? KAHRA: No you didn’t. SIMON: Last week you chose a great song. This week, you turned into anyone you will see in any bar across America. You don’t have the grit in your voice for that song. CASEY: That hurts a little. SARAHK: Simon, we’re on a break.

04 Alex Lambert. He’s kind of adorable and has major stagefright and usually throws up before performing. “Everybody Knows.” Out there with his guitar. Love love loving this. RANDY: This is such an improvement over last week. It didn’t sound as soundalike as in the past. Really enjoyed that, man. Way legit tonight. ELLEN: It’s like someone took that unripe banana and put it in the paper bag. So much better than last week. Such a great voice under that little mullet. You are somebody I’ve never seen before. KAHRA: Everyone’s rooting for you. Great tone. You’re gonna learn what to do with that voice. SIMON: Alex, that was a million times better than last week. The only time you should be nervous is if you’re useless, and you’re not. But I don’t get the impression that you’re in this to win. You don’t have that killer instinct. I wish I was choosing your songs for you right now. From here on in, I don’t want to hear anymore about nerves and that nonsense, because you’re a good singer. RYAN: You get what he means about the killer instinct, right? See, when I fail, Simon is thrilled. SIMON: And I’m constantly thrilled.
(more…)

Chuck. Boooooooooo. Sarah/Sam + Shaw = Booooooooo. But that’s cool that he broke up with Hannah. She’s a spy anyway.

Big Bang Theory. Oh, how I’ve missed you, Sheldon! Funny episode.

The Middle. I loved the ending, where Brick missed the word because of the whispering. Hahahahaha. And then slamming over the mic stand. So anti-Brick.

Modern Family. “He comes from a long line of fishermen and smugglers. But I encourage the fishing.”

The Office. Man, that was a hilarious episode, one of their funniest ever. Breastfeeding the wrong baby!!! That was one of the funniest things they’ve ever had on the show. Also, Oscar: “The hospital will provide dictionaries! Take a thesaurus!” Hahaha. Also, Erin and Andy. “YOU read the fax!”

Community. “We have to find this person for Abed. Unless it’s a boy, and then we need to find him for Jesus.” I love her.

Parks and Recreation. “April, you’re like an angel with no wings.” “So like a person.”

Psych. LOL. Lassiter, sunglasses moment.

Caprica. Well well. Look what show just got more interesting to the Spike-ieth power. It actually started getting interesting last week. Now I’m hooked. Please let Barnabus be a permanent fixture.

CSI: Miami. I liked when Horatio & Delko went to L.A. together. But I hope they’re not going to do a CSI: LA spinoff. I’d much rather have CSI: Anchorage or CSI: Boise. CSI: Yellowstone.

CSI: NY. I love Mac. Also, the pimp/drug dealer dude was funny. At first I thought he was supposed to be some kind of European–English, Scottish, Irish, and then he morphed into weird deep southern.

The Amazing Race. Well, look at those little wily cowboys. I may have to pick them as my faves again, now that Team Grandma is out. Oh, and when Granny got kicked in the head by a cow, I panicked.

LOST. LOL at Hurley. “And I just lied to a samurai.” Also, Jacob’s a tool.

24. They killed Sark! Booooo. Also, yay to Jack + Renee = potential future <3! And boo to the stupid hillbilly subplot. Though I’m really glad the hillbillies are dead.

Olympics. Glad it’s over. I can now go back to living elsewhere besides the couch. Also, GO USA! Record for most medals in a single winter Olympics! And: Frank and I are scheduled for a Learn To Curl class!

Ryan asks why Simon was harsher than normal. Eh, I didn’t think so. I thought he was smoking crack a few times, but not any harsher than normal. Ellen was surprised that she said she likes bananas. Randy says the early top 24 rounds are tough. Ryan asks Kahra how things are at home. Well, her husband came tonight to protect the men from her, so.

The top 24 are singing “American Boy.” It’s awkward when the guys sing, “I’m likin’ this American Boy.” I like that Crystal doesn’t look like she’s totally out of her element with the little dance moves and the poppishness. She’s having fun with it, even though it’s totally not her comfort zone. Same for the ’70s dude. Good for them.

Girls are up first in the hot seat.

Siobhan is safe.
Haeley is safe.
Michelle is safe.
Katelyn is safe.
Either Katie or Janell is going home. I didn’t have either of them picked to go home, but out of these two, I’d say Janell is gone.
Janell is out.

(Also, I forgot two would be going home, so I only picked one to go. Just assume my bottom two of Paige and Lacey would have been my picks for leaving.)

Alison Iraheta sings her new single “Scar.” She’s wearing a short black dress with a party going on in the back. You can call it a mullet dress if you like. And I can’t understand the song, because she’s slurring all her words. I do love the hair, though. Bright red with blue streaks, very patriotic.

Paige is safe.
Lacey is safe. Wow, I was way off with my predictions, and I’m glad she gets to stay. My guess is Ashley is the other who leaves. I’ll cry if it’s Didi.
Lilly is safe.
Crystal is safe.
Didi is safe.
Ashley is out. Ashley’s mom has the same hair as Lacey.

I did have both of the ousted girls in my bottom four.

Ryan’s showing us rehearsal video from yesterday. Tyler apparently showed up in his bathrobe, tennis socks, and boots. He thought he was headed to wardrobe, but it was rehearsal. Oops.

Big Mike is safe.
John is safe.
Aaron is safe.
Todrick is safe.
Tim is safe.
Joe is out.

Once again, I see that I only picked one to leave–my Idol blogging this week was full of fail. I had him in my bottom three, and I would have picked him as my other besides Jermaine to go home.

Idol Gives Back returns this year! April 21st, sponsored by Exxon-Mobil, Newscorp, Ford, Coke, and some company I despise. They’re going to focus on Haiti this year. Well, yes. Kris Allen just went to Haiti. He’s performing tonight, it’ll be available on iTunes, and 100% of the proceeds go to Haiti. He’s singing “Let It Be.” It’s quite lovely, and I’ll have to buy it.

Casey is safe. Before Ryan gives him his result, he mentions Kahra, and Casey shoots an apologetic look at someone in the audience, I assume Kahra’s husband.
Jermaine is safe. Him?
Lee is safe.
Andrew is safe.
It’s down to Tyler and Alex. I like them both, but I don’t think there’s any way Alex goes home. I’m really surprised either of these two is standing up there. Simon thinks based on vocals, Tyler will go home. Me too.
Alex is safe.
Tyler’s out.

Tyler feels like he didn’t get constructive criticism in Hollywood week, and that the constructive criticism they gave him last night was too late. He was really nice about it. And based on what they showed of Hollywood week, I’d say he’s right.

Simon’s showing deep cleavage tonight. Randy says be true to yourselves, guys. Kahra says the biggest thing is nerves. Ryan mentions that she’s been up there in a bikini, so how do you control your nerves? I don’t remember what Kahra says. Ellen says it’s mixed differently in person than at home, so if we say you sound bad here, you sound worse to the viewers at home. Haha, true. Simon says he saw an awful lot of nerves in rehearsal, and “if you lose it here or forget your words, your career is over.” No pressure!

01 Todrick Hall gets the first spot. He’s from Arlington, TX, the best of the Arlingtons. He’s singing Kelly Clarkson’s “Since You Been Gone.” He’s made it hip-hoppish, and I would love it if it had kept any similarity to the original, which it doesn’t. I didn’t really care for him in the early rounds, but I do like him much better tonight. Not really a vocal powerhouse, and the chorus is bland (where it’s the best and most exciting part of Kelly’s version) but it is a great performance. I would have loved it if I didn’t know the original version of the song. But still good. ELLEN: I love that you took the song and did something different with it. The singing wasn’t the greatest, the chorus was rough. RANDY: You know I’m a fan of yours, right? You’re an amazing performer, but it wasn’t even the same song. Don’t completely obliterate the song so it doesn’t sound anything like the original. KAHRA: I agree with Randy. And like your risk, but don’t go that crazy. SIMON: I think you came over as a dancer trying to sing rather than as a singer who can also dance. What you did is completely murder the original song. I think it was verging on stupid what you just did. SARAHK: Lighten up, Francis. It wasn’t BAD, it was just too unrecognizable. I give him props for doing his own arrangement rather than covering an obscure cover.

02 Aaron Kelly is 16 and a cute kid, so expect him to stick around a long time because the tweeners want someone to crush on whether he’s good or not. He’s singing Rascall Flatts’s “Here Comes Goodbye.” He’s doing a perfect sound-alike, as Simon would say. If I didn’t know it wasn’t RF, I would look up at the TV to see if it was them. So. It sounds great, but way too much like the original for the judges to like it. Also, he’s very awkward on the stage, like he doesn’t really know what to do with himself. Great 2nd half of the song. Well done, great vocals. Not great stage presence. SIMON: You know what, bearing in mind it’s your first live show, it actually was quite a good performance. You look at the moment as if you’re embarrassed to be there, and you’re not even confident enough to even know why you’re here. You’re a good singer, very likable, very cute. But you have to take control of the song. But 100% you’ll be here next week. KAHRA: You’re my favorite kind of contestant, because you have no idea what you’ve got. Blaaaaaaaaaaardeblah. RANDY: I forgot you’ve got all those pipes. Even though there were a couple of little pitchy moments, I was like, dude. Believe in yourself. 16, what a voice, dude, wow. ELLEN: Ditto to all that. I think you’re going to be here a long time. I love how humble you are. You do need confidence, but you’re just going to get better and better.
(more…)