This… is American Idol.

Ooooh. Simon is wearing dark grey. Like that color on him. Ryan calls Kahra Simon’s binky, and it’s a whole weird thing, especially since Simon doesn’t know what a binky is.

01 Lee Dewyze is doing “Fireflies” by Owl City. He sounds good. A few pitch problems here and there, but mostly it’s good. Apparently, this is an electronica song. RANDY: For me, it was a strange song choice. Couple pitch problems here and there. You made it work, you worked it out. ELLEN: Yeah, I like that you made it a little rock. Yeah, there were a lot of pitch problems, but I don’t think that’ll matter. I’ve talked to a lot of people who have crushes on you. You’re adorable, it was great. KAHRA: You look confident tonight. That’s what we’ve been waiting for. I think you actually made the song a better song with your interpretation. Not your best moment, but very solid. SIMON: There’s nothing to rave about with that song. You didn’t have a moment. Having said that, I’ve seen the progress over 3 weeks, I’m really glad you’re here, I think you’ve got a great shot at making the top 12. SARAHK: He’s in.

02 Alex Lambert is doing Ray Lamontaigne’s “Trouble.” This is quickly becoming an overdone Idol song. That said, he’s doing this very well. A little understated, actually, but I love it. He probably could have done more with it, but he didn’t need to. Just love his voice. RANDY: I liked it, I just wasn’t jumpin’ up and down. I feel like you could have done a little bit more with it, and even slowed it down. ELLEN: Boo! Boo! Boo! You’re becoming a mushy banana. You are consistently good, every single week, you get better and better and better. I love your innocence. You need more confidence, but don’t become cocky. No one likes a cocky banana. KAHRA: The only thing standing in the way of you winning is you. You have so much, but you’re still stiff. Be you. Let go. SIMON: I think you’ve kinda gotta get yourself mentally somewhere else. We’ve never really seen you relaxed and having a good time. You’ve kinda gotta imagine Randy in a bikini. Stop staring down the lens and concentrating on the cameras. You’ve got a really good, distinct voice, and people like you as a person. You’ve got to get that out of your head. I will get Randy in a bikini next week if you’re here. SARAHK: He’s totes here.

03 Tim Urban is out with his acoustic guitar singing “Hallelujah.” He just gets cuter every week (as does Alex). Whoa, that was very good. Like–as good as when Jason Castro did it, maybe even better, because he didn’t stutter the last note. No pitchydawgness at all, just very nicely sung. RANDY: Uhh. One of the greatest songs ever, love it, love the Buckley version, we’ve had a lot of fun with that song on this show. And I’ll tell ya. You walked in some pretty big shoes, and I think you did a pretty good job. ELLEN: Every week I feel like I’ve been so hard on you. I saw you were doing this song, and I was a little… wuh. But I’ve gotta do this. [Runs on stage, gives big hug.] That was fantastic! You sounded so good. KAHRA: I thought you were going home a few weeks ago, and now I actually think you’re kinda in it. And you may just about be in the top of the boys right now. Blah blah blah. SIMON: I kinda feel responsible for you doing well tonight after what I said last week. Because I gave you a confidence boost. You didn’t think you should be here, your first week was horrendous, last week I thought was good, and this week, very, very smart with that song. Because it’s a song that reacts. It’s not the best version I’ve ever heard, but for you, it was terrific, and by far the best you’ve been on the show. SARAHK: Welcome to the top 12, dude.

04 I’m looking more forward to this performance than any other tonight, because Andrew Garcia is doing “Genie In a Bottle.” I’m scared and excited, and since either condition could make me pee my pants, look out. Just him and the acoustic. Liked it. Was tense the whole time. A little corny. RANDY: Yo, lemme start off by saying I like the cardigan. Listen, very interesting song choice. I wondered if it was gonna work or not. It was a good idea, but it didn’t work for me. It was a little pitchy all over the place. You made it feel like the whole song was three notes. ELLEN: I thought it was a great song choice and that was what you needed to do. At the end was when you really surprised us, and I think the genie came out of the bottle a little late, but I still think people will love that. KAHRA: You’re in a hard position, because you peaked so early. I like what you did tonight, but you were fighting with the rhythm of the guitar. SIMON: I’m kind of with Kahra a little here. You’ve been trying to work out what you should be doing. It was a little bit desperate. You’re still going backwards. SARAHK: Whatevs. Y’all shut it, he’s in the top 12.

05 Casey James is singing Keith Urban’s “You’ll Think of Me.” I think he tried to dumb down his beauty tonight. Didn’t work, Case, you’re still dreamy. Love the song, the voice, the singing, what he did with it. RANDY: Lots of words including safe, safe, safe, safe. Don’t pull away from the vocals. Go for more Stevie Ray. ELLEN: I thought it was great. You’re so much more comfortable sitting down. That feels like your vibe to me. I thought it sounded great. I really like it. KARA: I’m kinda back on the Casey train. Kinda. I’m missing that spark. Definitely a move in the right direction. SIMON: I would say it was your 2nd best. It wasn’t as good as week 1, was definitely better than last week. I think it made you sincere. I don’t think it’s gonna be something that we’re gonna be remembering or raving about in 24 hours time. But you sounded great.

06 Aaron Kelly is doing “I’m Already There.” He bores me, and I can’t take his goat vibrato. Sadly, I’m sure the tweeners love him, so he’ll make the top 12. Blerg. Oh, also? Can we talk about that he’s singing about a dad calling to talk to his kids? And he’s 16. Unacceptable. RANDY: You’ve got the makings of a great, man. You’re really young, and it’s coming on. The lower notes, I’m like where are we going with this. But when you hit your power zone in the middle, I’m like this guy can sing, what?! ELLEN: Oh. I love you. You have the confidence of someone so much older. You’ve sounded better. I feel like that was a little too much song for you. I didn’t think it was that terrific. KARA: Honey, that song… first of all, it’s in 3rd person, and it’s about a man calling home to talk to his kids on the phone. And you’re 16 years old. It’s not relevant to your life. And that was my problem with it. How can you feel a connection to it? SPIKE: Kahra thinks like you. You two think exactly alike. SARAHK: Can it. AARON: I was more trying to tell the story. SARAHK: Translation: I really like singing this song, so I don’t really care what it’s about. SIMON: Look, if it’s any help, Kahra, I think what you just said is complete and utter rubbish. SARAHK: Break. SIMON: You cahn’t keep getting all literal, because he’s 16, he shouldn’t be doing it. It’s a beautiful song. SARAHK: I’m still amused that Simon loves country now, and he hated it when Carrie Underwood was on the show. Kept saying, “I just don’t get it.” Sweet, sweet cash is an opinion changer. SIMON: It was the right type of song for you to do. It wasn’t a great vocal, but it had emotion, and I could tell you’re trying hard. It’s just a nice song.

07 Todrick Hall is singing “Somebody to Love.” Ok, you have my attention. Ok, too pitchy, too much melisma for Queen, it was all over the place. He’s going home. RANDY: Let me just say this. Todrick is back! You just proved you can really sing. That was one of the best vocals I heard all night, all the last couple weeks. By a man! SARAHK: Him? ELLEN: You are a brave, brave young man. It almost sounded like a gospel song. I wish it would have been a little more committed to that. Good job. KAHRA: You can’t listen to that and say it wasn’t good singing. I didn’t know whether to laugh at it or love it. Cause it was so dramatic. It was almost like Godspell a little bit. But the singing was good, I gotta say. SIMON: I would say it was good in parts, not the whole way through. I think what you’ve done tonight is tell us who you are. Which is, you’re a broadway singer. It’s American Idol the Musical doing Queen. I see you more as that than a recording artist. Having said that, because we’ve had so many boring performances tonight with just a guy sitting on a stool playing guitar, you tried, it was a good song choice, and it may have saved you, that song. SARAHK: Huh.

08 Big Mike Lynche is doing “This Woman’s Work.” He’s singing it well, though the falsetto at the beginning is weird. But he’s still hella boring. I just don’t get his kind of music. Vocally great, but wake me. RANDY: Yo. Yo. Really? Really really? I gotta give it to you again, dawg, this is crazy. For everyone who doesn’t know, it was dope, it was unbelievable. The last note? For you to hit that chord with it? I was like what? ELLEN: One of my favorite songs. That was so beautiful. I felt like the show just began. You are the one to beat now. SARAHK: Him? KAHRA: I’ve never cried after hearing something like that. It’s amazing. Your respect for your wife, what you’ve been through… SARAHK: Yes, HE went through so much and showed so much respect when she didn’t show up for their child’s birth. Idol REALLY needs to stop trying to play up the stellar family values angle of this contestant, because it falls FLAT and insincere with every single person I know who watches the show. KAHRA: And as a woman who doesn’t have a child, I can relate to it, it brought me so much to tears. SIMON hugs KAHRA. SIMON: This was so needed tonight. The beginning was a bit worthy, and you come out, and blah blah blah, best performance of the live shows so far. SARAHK: Spike and I are rewinding and watching again, because we did not get it. On the rewatch: We still don’t get it.

Not getting it aside, no one sucked tonight. They were all good. The judges seemed to be smoking crack through the first half of the show, thinking everyone was boring. Here’s my order, based on my opinion, which in no way coincides with the judges’ opinions. (* means I voted/tried)

Tim*
Alex*
Casey*
Lee*
Andrew*
Big Mike
Todrick
Aaron

If I had my druthers, Big Mike and Aaron would go home. Ugh, I’m so torn on my prediction. I think Aaron/Todrick, Andrew/Todrick, and Andrew/Aaron are all good predictions. I can’t believe I’m worried that Andrew will go home. The only ones I’m confident are safe are Tim, Alex, Casey, and Big Mike. I think even Lee could be in jeopardy. Tough choice… Ok, I’ll make a guess and say Aaron and Todrick go home (maybe the tweeners will have taken up all their voting time with Alex and Tim). I think if Todrick hadn’t been followed by Big Mike, he’d have had a better shot at sticking around. I expect to be surprised tomorrow night on at least one count.