American Idol 8 Top 3 results. Ahem. I called it. Because I’m awesome.
Tonight’s American Idol opens with an ad for the new Ben Stiller/Hank Azaria movie.
Over 88 million votes came in. Ryan says to think again if you think you know how this is gonna roll out. Oh, Ryan, don’t you tease me. A Danny/Kris finale? No way, dude. Only a million votes separate 1st and 2nd place. Dun dun dunnnn.
The crappy Ford video starts with barking German Shepherds, and since they’re big and barking, we’re supposed to think they’re aggressive. The boys pee their pants and run away to “Break My Stride.”
Alicia Keys is here to explain more about why Carrie Underwood went to Angola. I love how Ryan keeps calling it Angola, Africa. Do you ever hear people say China, Asia? Or Brazil, South America? United Kingdom, Europe? You get my drift. Anyway, a kid from Rwanda is here to sing for us. He learned this song in a week. And he’s adorable and I want to adopt him. I’m telling you, I cannot resist black children. Seriously, when we moved from Florida, I took three kids from our church and packed them in the moving truck. Unfortunately, they escaped somewhere around Kansas*. This kid is so cute! He’s so adorable with all his jumping around. He owns the stage. I love him.
Scott and Anoop are in the audience.
Danny went home to Milwaukee this week. He reunited with Jamar. They held each other close (his words) and just caught up on everything. Wow, that is a long hug. Jamar is still wearing the neon green tie. He totally should have made the top 32. Muse is playing. The mayor of Milwaukee is very proud of Danny.
Kris, a boy regardless of the spelling of his name, went home to Arkansas. His favorite restaurant is Stobey’s (?sp?) and he ate there and now gets free cheese dip for life. Good for him. Kris jumped into the crowd, and his security guard peed his pants. Awwwww. His dad’s hugging him and crying and big with the love. Sniff. Kris apparently wore one of Simon’s white t-shirts for his trip home.
Jordin Sparks is performing “Battlefield.” I’m surprised with myself–I dig this. Will have to download it. But LOL at the face she makes at the end.
All the little girls in the audience are screaming for Adam. Anoop included. Zing! He went home, all the way to San Diego. That giant truck limo looks like what Frank and I left our wedding in, no kidding. And a topless (? she’s wearing a bra, but Adam had called her topless) girl rushed onstage. It sounds like when Adam sang the national anthem at his high school, he perhaps didn’t trick it up–I hate it when singers trick it up and make it about themselves, hate it hate it hate it. So good for him, if he did it straight.
Katy Perry is up next. Danny just wants for there to be no more commercials, he wants to know the results. Adam screams that he wants to see Katy Perry. Apparently the fan club goes both ways, because she comes out wearing a cape that says Adam Lambert on it. She sings “Waking Up in Vegas,” and I don’t hate it.
KRIS, A BOY, IS IN THE FINALE! Did I tell y’all? ALICE: Actually, *I* told them. SIMON’s eyes bug out, as do Pauler’s. They are shocked.
Adam is also in the finale. Deservedly, of course.
As I said last night, I think Kris actually has a chance against Adam in the finale. He just has to come out and kill it. Come on, Kris. I am totally pulling for you. Nothing against Adam, but Kris has grown so much, gotten better every week… He has a shot.
Well done, Danny. I’ll buy your album. Just promise me no FAIL shrieks. Kthx.
*I didn’t really kidnap any children. Chillax, don’t call the FBI tip line.
May 14th, 2009 at 1:26 am
My hands hurt from clapping really hard when they said Kris was in the final. And from voting millions of times for him last night. A. MAY. ZING.
Also, perhaps I’m being optimistic, but it seemed that Kris had more fans than Adam during the homecoming bits.
Kris DOES have a chance….a really good chance if you ask me!
Can’t wait for Danny’s album too, it’s bound to be wonderful!!!!!!!
May 14th, 2009 at 1:48 am
Yes, yes,yes you are good! However I just want to alert your goodness to the fact that I have successfully predicted the winners each year. This year I predict the dark horse Kris Allen takes it. Gokey was robbed I tell ya. Then again he is better off then the rest. Wink
Great article, see you at the prediction line, fest, whatever it is we bloggers do. :D
May 14th, 2009 at 8:08 am
And then there were two.
^ Is that a cliched line? I couldn’t decide so I slapped it up there anyways, at best I sound smart and witty, at worst I sound like John Madden. If it is the latter, then I am now dead having committed suicide via bagels and waffle irons.
Moving on— It’s the big one where we finally find out who is in the finale and I, as a guy, am totally miffed that there are no attractive girl finalists that can steal my votes. Instead I have to vote for a guy and that just makes me feel weird.
NEVER THE LESS! We start out with a gay ford video that they REALLY should not have made. It’s forced, corny, lame, etc. They should put me in charge of that crap, I could make it watchable.
Moving to Alicia OBAMA LOVIN’ Keys, we hear more about Angola and such. And that weird foundation that makes it sound like if you don’t donate you’re killing poor black kids. Spiteful harpies. The kid singer they have is fun thoough, so kudos for that.
Then we see Katy Perry, one of the main reasons I tuned in tonight. I mean, I really don’t care for her music….at all. But damn is she hot! Seriously. SarahK if you know her, set me up! ;) I mean honestly, girls shouldn’t be that good looking. It’s not good for my imagination.
Moving on, Kris is moving on. Not a shocker but whatever. I think he’ll get pounded into the ground if Adam tones it down to a little less shrieky. Crappy that Gokey’s not going through, always been a fan of his.
Twill be an interesting finale. I want to know who’ll perform at the results show. Please, I vote more Katy Perry. *Nice outfit today by the way.*
Rorschach out!
May 14th, 2009 at 8:56 am
Well, there you go. We know our final two. Danny was my fave, but Kris put the work in too. Some of us love(d) AI ‘cause once in awhile underdogs get a chance to grow and prove themselves. But whose surprised about Adam? Anyone? Anyone? (He deserved it , ‘cause he’s so good that geesh, you’d think he was a seasoned pro who has worked the theater and drag queen stage for years). In fact, I think next year they should ask Katy Perry to try out. She’d win for sure. And she’d deserve it too. And maybe AI could spend the money to make Adam Lambert (the returning winner) a cute little Vegas get-up with HER name on it. That would be SO AWESOME! And really, really fair in our unbiased, “your votes count,” little national talent show.
May 14th, 2009 at 9:27 am
What WAS that face Jordan made at the end of that song?! You know they had to have practiced it as the lighting and camera shot were obviously predetermined… She needs to take lessons from her dad as to how to look FIERCE
May 14th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Well, another year of mediocre lounge acts comes to a close. I’m pulling for Kris, though Adam has a long Vegas career as a female impersonator ahead of him, but I just can’t take that off-key screeching of his. In any event, this year’s winner will be the least talented since Fantasia.
May 14th, 2009 at 11:01 am
I didn’t watch Jordin’s performance, I was never really a Jordin fan. I think I was bitter about Melinda Doolittle that season.
Ginger, I totally agree. I wouldn’t be surprised if the judges somehow fixed the results. Which is disappointing because I think I’ve developed carpal tunnel syndrome from voting a gazillion times. Maybe I should send AI the bill.
ALSO….did Adam Lambert say “there is real life going on outside of CBS studios?” If I’m not mistaken, isn’t AI a FOX show? Am I just really confused? Someone help?!
May 14th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Jess, thanks for voting for Kris so much. And you heard when they said only a million votes separated the top 2, right? You know a lot of Danny’s voters will go to Kris. Of course, a lot of them will be bitter toward him too.
American Idol is filmed at CBS Studios. But that would have been funny. All the overt Adam-love, and he doesn’t know what network he’s on. I’d loooove that.
Hey Ginger. Just wondering, how do you feel about Adam? :) But yeah, it’s been a complete joke this season. The blatant favoritism not just of the judges but also the producers and the mentors has been pathetic.
JFH, I was actually in the kitchen during The Face, and Frank paused it for me on The Face just so I could see it. He was laughing so hard before I ever saw it.
May 14th, 2009 at 12:23 pm
matt2, I think the whole lot was talented this year.
Arnelle, I am impressed with your ability to predict winners. You will be allowed to stay. :) And yes, I agree. I really think Kris is gonna pull it out. Please oh please.
May 14th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I am a new snarker (thanks for the tip, Ginger), and I’ve really enjoyed the couple of weeks I’ve been here. Too bad it’s probably my last Idol year. They really went over the top with the constant Adam hype. I know they’ve intentionally killed others’ chances over the years, but this was unbelievably shameless. Well, let’s all wear out our little fingers voting for Kris. Not Danny, but definitely talented and a cutie, too.
Sorry I missed The Face!
May 14th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
Welcome, T-Jo! And thanks!