American Idol 8 Top 5. Hey, tonight’s Idol didn’t suck!
Yay! We’re down to the top five! Which means no more overhyping the potential use of the judges’ save! Awwwww yeeeaaaaaaahhhh. Why am I aw yeahing? Because we all know they’ll now be overhyping the judges’ inability to save anyone.
They’re doing Rat Pack this week. Wowwwww. Their surprise mentor is Jamie Foxx. That’s pretty coolio. Say, Idol? Did Jennifer Hudson come from Idol? I’m just wondering, because it’s not like y’all mention it ever. Jamie says he’s gonna say exactly what’s on his mind. Georgia, last I heard. Ba-dum ching!
01 Kris, a boy even though he and Kris Kristofferson spell it like a girl, is singing “The Way You Look Tonight.” Jamie says that if AI doesn’t work out for Kris, he’ll do a record with him. He also says America’s gonna be blown away and not even know it. SPIKE: If they don’t know it, doesn’t that mean they’re kind of NOT blown away? SARAHK: “Hey, I’m blown away, or so they tell me.” Oh no, Kris. Don’t you start. Don’t you start with gettin’ all mattress-dancey with the camera. You leave that innocent camera alone–it’s still getting over Constantine. I’m thankful that he eventually moves on to making the tweens in the audience go heart-pitter-patty. This is brilliant, and once again, I hear a little Mraz in him, and that is always only a good thing. RANDY: Dude, I personally think this is your best performance to date. KARA: You set a high standard. Let me tell you how. With many words. And you’re a dark horse. PAULER: I’m wearing a velvet bow on my chest. A pretty gift wrapped up all nicely for Simon. But I’m remarkably lucid, because it’s still early. Also, you’ve transformed from boy next door to gentleman, near-impeccable performance, contemporary crooner. SIMON: It was good, I’m not quite as enthusiastic. I thought it was a little bit wet. You’re like taking a well-trained Spaniel for a walk. It’s gonna be safe, it’s gonna be quite nice. I don’t get the feeling from you tonight that you can win this competition. SARAHK: Whatevs, Captain Crankypants.
02 Allison is next, and I already can’t wait for it to be over, because I’m racist or something like that. But first I have to watch her interview on the Tool Stool. Oh, she’s finally seventeen! SPIKE: Thank goodness, the judges can stop talking about how very sixteen she is and how very not-sixteen her voice is. ALLISON is gonna sing “Someone to Watch Over Me.” Jamie says she’s too young to be in love, so she should think of how her family watches over her. SPIKE: Gag me with a shotgun…. Now this is… excellent. I can’t believe I’m saying it. She pronunciated the words! I knew you could do it, Allison! Good job! RANDY: Sixteen, seventeen. SARAHK: How old? RANDY: You look like Brittany Murphy. SARAHK: Ooh, she does. RANDY: Sing like Pink, but with more octaves. I don’t care what nobody tells you, that was da bomb, and you did it in your own rough kinda gruff kinda style and I loved it. SPIKE: I think he meant you, pet. SARAHK: Yes, yes. But I already said I liked it, so lay off, Randy. Lay. Off. KAHRA: Blahdeblah, blahdeblah. I ain’t worried about you anymore. Many emotional words! Many of them! PAULER: I’ve been waiting so long to hear how you would approach a ballad. It was tender. I’m proud. SIMON: Do you think you can win this competition at this stage? ALLISON: I think I can, I think all of us have that chance right now. SIMON: I ask the question because I don’t feel that belief in you still. I thought it was a great performance, and it’s great to hear you singing a song like that. Maybe you’ve just been overshadowed by some of the personalities. I have a horrible feeling you may be in trouble. KAHRA: I love you, Simon, but you are cuh-razy. SPIKE: As are the producers who hired you. SARAHK: Hi-five! RANDY: Whatever it does for you, you were so teh awesome vocally, and that’s what you can take with you. SARAHK: I think he’s saying Simon might be right.
03 Matt is up next, and I think he’ll be well-suited for this style. And this is the one he’s most stoked for, so good for him. He’s singing “My Funny Valentine.” SPIKE: Isn’t that the song that the kids sing right before they go home? SARAHK: Yep. Never sing that on Idol. SPIKE: Only slightly less well-known is never get involved in a land war in Asia. JAMIE has no advice for him, and then he calls him back into the room later to tell him to change the key. I’m surprised to not see him at the piano tonight. That may be a misstep for him. Ok, I hate that line. “Is your figure less than Greek? Is your mouth a little weak?” SPIKE: Let me insult you while I pretend I’m not. SARAHK: Yes. Spike, is your heart without a beat? Is your body absent heat? Is that ripe smell of your feet… performance art? SPIKE: Hey! That hurts! SARAHK: I’m sorry, I was just goofin’ on the song… SPIKE: And anyway, I change my socks every day! I’m DEAD! Bound to smell a little funny now and then. Is that what you really think of me? SARAHK: No. I think you’re wicked cool. Also wicked hot. Wicked cool and hot. FRANK: Meghan McCain seems to think that everyone played it safe tonight. SARAHK: Meghan McCain can suck it. Anyway, I think this one sends him packing. It’s fine, nothing special. RANDY: Yo. For me, I don’t know if that song can be sung tonight. It was just a little bit pitchy. I have to give it like a six out of ten. KAHRA: You’ve really gotta be the leader of the pack to establish yourself tonight. I didn’t feel you were emotionally connected to it. PAHLER: I love what you did with the song, and I love the advice you took from Jamie by lowering the key. Pure, simple, really impressive. Excellent job. SIMON: I’m gonna have to disagree with Randy. I thought, for me, it was the only believable, authentic song I’ve heard tonight. I can tell you love the music. I heard some almost Nat King Cole-like phrasing there. Absolutely brilliant. SARAHK: What, he’s living in Opposite World tonight? He’s totally off. Spike, please stop with the pouting. You know I love you. SPIKE: So you say.
04 Danny is gonna sing “Come Rain or Come Shine.” Mmm, love this song. JAMIE: I was watching Danny so intently… it might have put him off a little bit. DANNY: We all have our comfort zones, and he was all up in mine. SPIKE: This whole scene with Danny and Jamie makes me a little uncomfortable. SARAHK: Me too. Get out of his grill, Jamie! Spaghetti arms! DANNY is dashing to the power of four in his suit tonight. SARAHK: Swoon! Swoon! Swoon! You know it’s a good sign if I just stop typing, put my hands behind my head, and relish the performance. Uhm, I have to go watch that again. SPIKE: You know, I sing good. SARAHK: Mmm, yes you do. You’ll always be my favorite. Awww. There’s that smile I love. Now gimme the remote, I need to see that again. DANNY is thanking the crowd. RANDY: Once again, I’m worried. It seems like it’s gonna be safe. You are the only one I’ve heard so far tonight that can actually have an album of songs like that and WIN. Forget all about this connection. This is a singing competition and you can sing! KAHRA: What I’ve been missing from you all season is that Rat Pack swagger. Tonight is the most creative you’ve ever been with the melody. You should do standards. PAULER: Stellar. You can see the finish line. You see it! SARAHK: That’s my Pauler. Drink up, Velvet Bow Mama. SIMON: What Kahra said is 100% right. What you had tonight was a swagger and a confidence. I felt tonight you came out to prove a point. Your vocals were the best I’ve heard in weeks. I don’t know if it’s because you’re so near the end. Arrangement, Ricky, was superb. I want to thank Jamie, because what he brought out in you tonight. It’s outstanding. SARAHK: Thank you for joining us back in Earthtown, Simon. Just in the nick of time. I know I say below that I voted for him 10 times, but I think it was more like a hundred.
05 Adam is singing “Feeling Good,” and I’m kinda disappointed in that. It’s so freaking overdone on this show. But I’m sure he’ll make it good. He’s coming down the staircase, which is lit up all hot pink. It’s too much, I’m too laughy, so I’ll move on. I hate the white suit. Hate it. Oh, and in the light, it’s some kind of rayon/satinish blend, and it scares me. SPIKE: She’s hiding behind my duster right now… This is definitely rockish… but if I’m being oh-nest, the arrangement sucks, and it’s kinda boring and safe until the very last two notes. I have to give this a meh and put him in third place? DUDE. RANDY: I sound like a broken record. A little theatrical, a little too Broadway for me. But you’re in the zone consistently. KAHRA: You shock me, and I can emote that HARD. PAULER: Words cannot describe. You make me feel better than good. Every performance, I’m watching the Olympics, and you’re Michael Phelps. SARAHK: Come on, Simon, bring it back down to reality. SIMON: Randy talking about you being theatrical is like complaining that a cow moos. We always have kids every year bleating on about how winning isn’t important, but winning is important. And what I get from you and from Adam [he means Danny] and some of the other competitors. All of them, actually. Three of them, actually. Is that you want to win. By the way, best entrance we’ve had all year, and Ryan, you’re never using that staircase again.
Danny (10*)
Kris (5*)
Adam (3*)
Allison (3*)
Matt
ALICE: I see… there won’t be a bottom three, only two. Bottom two… Allison and Matt. Matt’s future on the show has disappeared, which means that either he’s standing too close to the werewolf Kahra, or he’s going home.
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13 Snarkbacks to “American Idol 8 Top 5. Hey, tonight’s Idol didn’t suck!”
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April 29th, 2009 at 12:32 am
Mrs BritAm suggested that Adam was channeling his inner Freddie mercury tonight.
April 29th, 2009 at 12:58 am
After faithfully following your snarks every week (thanks for doing this by the way, I enjoy it) I can finally agree with your rankings.
@BritAm, I’ve been waiting all season for Adam to do a Queen song. Did I miss rock week this year?
April 29th, 2009 at 2:02 am
So I voted a lot for Matt. Because I want Allison to go home before Matt.
Can someone please define “indulgent” for me so that it makes sense to me why Simon et. al use it to describe some of the contestants but never use it for Adam? Is it not obvious to anyone else that he does the same basic thing EVERY WEEK? The screaming, the “rock sound”, the DRAAAAAMA of it all? I’m getting reeeeeeealllly tired of him. In case it’s not obvious.
Also, we fastforwarded a lot when Kara talked, mainly because she just repeats herself. Incidentally, we ended up missing most of Pauler’s critiques too. However, we got through an entire episode in about 30 minutes by fastforwarding through commercials and “emoting.”
I LOVED Kris and Danny. I did not really like Allison but I admit it had some good moments. I really liked Matt’s performance, it felt like it was really genuine and was well-done. And I HATE Adam.
Also, I’m starting to pick up more on the Twilight references. Because I’m finally on the 3rd book. They’re pretty good. I still like Potter better though. Sorry. Hope I’m not banished.
April 29th, 2009 at 7:45 am
Hey, why was Kris’s wife wearing a keffiyeh?
April 29th, 2009 at 9:18 am
BritAm, isn’t that what he does every week?
Matt, you’re welcome. And no, there actually hasn’t been a rock week yet.
Jess, yeah, Adam kind of defines indulgent. But the judges want that from him, apparently.
I don’t even try to compare Potter & Twilight, and I’m not sure why people do–just because Robert Pattinson plays Edward and also Cedric Diggory? I don’t get it. Potters are already classics and appeal to everyone–men, women, kids all. Twilight is a phenomenon because it hits all the girls in all the right places. It’s not like I think it’s amazing literature, though it does have great characters (Bella not included–what an idiot that girl is). It’s just so stinkin’ FUN. Complete indulgent nonsense, and I adore it and will always love Stephenie Meyer for writing the series.
And I’m glad you’re getting the references.
adamboysmom, I totally didn’t notice!!
April 29th, 2009 at 9:54 am
Wife and I watched idol abit like Jessica. We skipped everything but the actual singing and judges comments. We didn’t catch Jamie Foxx’s interaction, but I don’t feel the least bit less for it. Nothing against Jamie, but in this, he’s just a bit player. Anway, idol in less than 30 minutes was very bearable.
Kris, did an ok job, probably good enough to stay in this week, but totally agree with Simon; it was not finale potential.
Allison was a bit clearer tonight, but as a trumpet player, I totally couldn’t stand how she started each note with a “ha”. She slurred the whole song, not one bit of crisp opening to a note. The words were clearer, but she still has more to learn. I thought Simon’s question was very similar to what is asked during initial auditions. Do you think you can win? If the answer is anything but “hell ya!”, then off you go. I’ll give her credit, her answer is what I would expect from a 17 yr old (just a few months younger than my daughters), but her indecision will probably hurt her.
Mike: Dude! You’re a freakin piano player on Crooner night. Get a freakin piano, sit in front of it, and play and sing as a freakin good song. You did half the job, and so you are done.
Danny… best performance of the night for me. None of the performances really excited me, but his seemed to have the best emotion and desire to win. He is still my favorite to go up against Adam.
Adam did a great job. But I do wish for once, he would dial it back some, step out on stage, and just sing it. Bo Bice did it with “In a Dream”, and it is still one of the most memorable moments of Idol. I wonder if Adam could pull that off. I don’t think he can. And so, the theater and stuff is what Adam does and its entertaining like big hair rock bands and Queen. But, its a performance show to see on tour (lots of money there), but not much of Idol. He’s still safe until finals.
Matt’s toast. Without peaking at dialidol, I think Allison does a bit better than Kris. I’d put Danny over Adam for the night as well.
Oh, agree with SarahK on Twilight/Potter. I enjoyed Potter. I’ve read everybook, and only wish the movies were as good. But love the movies because they are good, and understand they have limitations. I haven’t seen Twilight. I started the book, and after a blerged in my mouth in the first chapter, I put the book down. I’ve thought about trying it again, but I’ll probably give liver another shot first.
April 29th, 2009 at 10:56 am
HAH! I heart you for saying that Bella’s an idiot. THANK YOU. My wife is a huge fan so I have no outlet at home… but every time I pass her Twilight poster and see Bella’s overwrought pouty face, I say it to myself - “There goes a stupid, stupid girl.”
I had too much hockey to watch last night. Hope to catch up tonight, though I probably won’t be able to blog the results.
April 29th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
Thanks for at least validating that I do, in fact, know the meaning of the word indulgent. I just wish they would stop using it if they’re not going to use it properly.
I suppose a comparison between Potter and Twilight isn’t necessary, I was mainly just playing off of the whole “I hate Potter, I love Twilight” and vice versa controversy that goes on. To be honest I have very little time to do any type of leisurely reading other than this blog :)
April 29th, 2009 at 4:02 pm
Did anyone feel that Adam was having a hard time containing himself last night? It seemed to me he usually does that song in drag and is used to doing a little shake and shimmy in a dress.
Kris has grown on me a whole heck of a lot and I think he’s the most current. Danny is a close second ( I can see him doing a Christian rock record) but Adam needs a band with him, cuz he’s just too much for a lonely stage to handle.
April 29th, 2009 at 4:25 pm
Allison should go home tonight! Those 4 guys are soo talented! People have to stop hating on Matt…He is soo talented and he should stay..he is awesome! Allison has to go bye bye…According to Simon last night Matt’s performance was brilliant and he felt Allison was going to be in trouble! She has to leave tonight!
April 29th, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Danny remains my favorite. His performance was fantastic. I smile when they show four women sitting together, titled “Danny’s sisters.” Not sure if all four of them are, but he has the sweet nature of a guy who was loved on by a bunch of doting sisters.
I used to find Kris forgettable, but he has worked hard to make himself a competitor. I find myself looking forward to him now.
I agree with others; as creative and talented as Adam is, his rock opera theatrics are starting to bore me. The Hollywood reporter (specifically Mike Evans) that calls into our local drive-time radio show (KQRS) said that Adam had approached the Idols producers asking for permission to “push the Idol envelope” and do a song in drag. He was turned down. So yes, Pammy, you nailed it. His entrance was totally from his drag queen repertoire and that is what Simon was alluding to.
Matt or Allison will go home. I liked them both last night. Does anyone watch “The Soup” w/ Joel McHale. Everytime he talks about Allison, he starts his sententce, “40-year-old Allison.” (kinda sad) Last night they finally had her looking pretty and young instead of like an aging barfly. I like her but I agree with Leland, I can’t stand singers that start their notes with “ha” and last night she really overdid that. I’ve often wondered if her trouble with annunciation has to do with her braces.
April 29th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
Hey Snarkmasters, does Allison really have braces?! Are they the ‘behind the teeth’ type caus I never noticed! I think, as true ‘artistes,’ she and Adam are heads and tails above the others. Much as I like them though, Adam’s obligatory, (at least once per song, he just can’t help himself apparently) sustained, ‘is it live or is it memorex,’ glass shattering notes are (oh my [funny Girl], not again!) overdone. Knock it off Adam and just do one song completely straight (no pun intended). I was glad to see Allison really shine with restraint and subtlety. Her defining rock edge was starting to wear on me, too. (and these are my favorites!) Good Lord Almighty, I simply cannot watch Danny Hokey Gokey do his thing all the way through. Matt just HAS to go bye bye. Its time. Kris (heh heh heh) is my third choice for the top three; he wont win but he should place. Thank God for DVR’S because if I had to sit through every half assed, inane and insane, poppy cockian moment that Paula and Simon indulge in, I would reach under my pillow, grab my gun and kill myself. I DO like that Paula has to use big words to convince us that she is truly coherent. (I know ‘visceral’ isn’t a big word for snarksters, but she even used it properly!) As it is, I froth at the mouth like Cujo and Old Yeller whenever Kara and Paula speak. Howls and Growls!
[Please no with the oh my G– here. Thank you kindly. Also, you keep your gun under your pillow? I mean, it’s great you have a gun, yay 2nd Amendment, but that would be extremely uncomfortable, like the princess and the pea, if Mr. Shiny were under my pillow.]
April 29th, 2009 at 10:55 pm
It makes me extremely happy that others have realized that Adam is incredibly indulgent and quite over-rated. It gives me hope. Not the “oh look Obama’s gonna fix everything” hope, but the genuine “oh, hey maybe not all of America has completely lost their minds.” You know, the real kind of hope….