Not much talking from the judges and barely any from Ryan, because we’ve gotta get right to it. Before we start, let me just say: I agree that this is not the group of eight that should be here. I agree! Some of y’all are acting in the comments like I want this group here and that I want the results I predicted! Chillax! There are people who should be here that aren’t, and people who shouldn’t be here who are. I don’t think Von, Jasmine, or Anoop should be here, and probably not Matt either. I know I’m alone on Von and Anoop, but I seriously just don’t get the hype with those two. Especially Anoop. He bored me to sleep two weeks ago, and I didn’t get the big deal with him in the early rounds either.

Jesse Langseth: Ok, after the first note, I think Alice is gonna get her Jesse prediction wrong. She totally hosed the first word. She’s wearing a teeny black hoo-hah dress, which I, of course, hate. And this is awful. RANDY: Some of the notes weren’t good. KAHRA: I’m so emotional about your swagger even though you had bad notes. PAULER: I’m so impressed with your determination. And you picked a song that’s hard to sing. I’m really impressed. SIMON: You were totally last minute, by the way. You were the last girl that we chose, and I’m glad that we did. It was a lot better than the first time. You’re a very good singer. My criticism is that the song was slightly indulgent. It was more about you than everyone else.

Matt Giraud: “Who’s Loving You.” What is that getup he’s wearing? I’m pretty sure Justin Timberlake is the only one who can get away with that outfit. Just sayin’. The singing is very good, much better than I was expecting. Um, the dancing? Yech. KAHRA: Wow. Thank you for bringing back the bluesy soulful Matt. You can riff amazingly. A little over the top at points [SIMON: A little?]. POHLAR: Here’s the deal with me. This is the right zone for you. Right song. Don’t go against what you’re great at. Last week wasn’t you. This is you. Simon, I’m still speaking. SIMON: Unfortunately. Look, Matt, again, it was a billion times better than last week. My criticism would be I hate what you’re wearing, and then I saw a little bit of Taylor Hicks coming out. SARAHK: Yes! With the dancing. RANDY: Look, I don’t care what you’re wearing. You know what I love about what you just did, dawg? You scared all the other competitors. Hot baby!

Megan Corkrey: “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” Hopefully not on her knows. She messed up, unless her name is Jack and the horse calls her Lady Baby. She’s singing it well–she is unique and likable, and I do like the tone of her voice. The last note, she tried too hard and missed. But it was overall well done. I don’t like that she’s smiling so big throughout the song. The dance thing was weird. The judges will love her, and as well as she did, I’ll say she’s in. PAULER: You look beautiful [uh-oh]. You picked the right song. Your middle name is Joy, I had fun watching you. You’re quirky. I think you picked the right song. SIMON: I’ve always liked you, and I still like you. I think you’re terrific. What I like about you is that you’re current, and sometimes this show can get a bit karaoke. And I don’t get that from you. It’s not the best vocal we’re ever gonna hear, but I don’t care. It was terrific. RANDY: Blah blah blah nice choice. Right range for you. KAHRA: I think that we need you, because we need some variety from what’s up there. I hope you stay.

Von Smith: “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.” His vibrato is just too much. It’s not exactly goat vibrato, but it’s just… too vibrant. In the beginning it’s… wow, will it ever end? He’s a little flat on his last note but picks it back up. I really don’t see why the judges are so in love with him. Don’t get me wrong–he’s good. But I think he’s better suited for musical theater and less so for being a pop sensation. He’s just not exciting or different enough. SIMON: You’ve become Mr. Serious. Safe. Ordinary. I’m not crazy about that. RANDY: I think Simon’s right. It seems a little serious right now. In the beginning you couldn’t find the pitch. I’m not crazy about the song choice. KAHRA: I don’t like the song choice. It got dark. This is sad, because you have what it takes, but you haven’t dialed it in yet. PAULER: You’re thinking too hard, and I can see it. You have to count on the fact that you’re a brilliant singer. You really are.

Jasmine Murray: I’m just not that into her. She looks pretty, and I like her dress. But the singing, while much better than last time, is nothing special, nothing I haven’t heard before. I just don’t get all the hype. RANDY: You’re definitely 100% improved from the other day. Definitely some pitchydawgness, but better. This song is still too big for you. KAHRA: I’m all confused. I didn’t think this would be a good song choice, but it showed you have a big voice, and now I’m confused. PAULER: Good. Lovely girl, beautiful song, blah blah. SIMON: I don’t think you’re giving her enough credit. Compared to what we heard before, it was a huge improvement, and I think you just put yourself back in the running. SARAHK: Her?

Ricky Braddy: Wow, he’s very hickly when he talks. “Superstition.” His outfit is killing me. Who dressed him? Nathaniel and his Alice-sized closet of skinny jeans? Someone really needs to tell these guys that skinny jeans are a bad idea for anyone with a package. BAD. But the singing is excellent, one of the best tonight. KAHRA: You can sing your butt off. Tonight was about showing your personality and loosening up. Good job! SIMON: Good chops. PAULER: I was surprised when you picked the song, but you nailed it. SIMON: Ricky, look, I think you sounded good. I think when you’re brought back you’ve got a couple of minutes to absolutely say to us, put me into the finals. It’s a karaoke song, and I don’t think you… blah blah, negative. RANDY: Weird song, blah blah. SARAHK: But you’re all over Jasmine? This is becoming a bad joke. Just because you feel like there aren’t enough girls in the top 12 doesn’t mean you need to put in a mediocre Jasmine when you’ve got a clear finalist in Ricky. This is too obvious, too manufactured. Bordering on pathetic.

Tatiana Del Toro: I’m in love with everyone and everything that has happened. “Saving All My Love for You.” Wait, didn’t she sing that last time? Checking snark… Yes, she sang this last time. I think that’s a bad song choice, and the judges will get on her for that. But you know what? She sounds pretty good. Has some moments, but it’s good. She does the laugh with the judges. PAULER: I’m not a fan of people repeating songs. You started off shaky, but then you got into your power voice. Man, she can sing. And you now have an accent that you didn’t have before. SIMON: We’ve heard you sing that song three times now? [2] So what happens if you get to the next round? Are you going to sing the same song? [No, I’m ready to sing country, anything.] Then why did you sing that song? But you can sing more than that song? Why? [I couldn’t clear any song in one day.] Rubbish. [A song as good as this one? No.] Rubbish. [I think it’s a beautiful song.] Then tell the truth. You wanted to sing it. [If it isn’t broke don’t fix it.] But it wasn’t good enough last time, because you didn’t make it through! RANDY: It started off really rough. Once again with you it’s kind of a mixed bag of tricks here. KAHRA: It’s like the adventures of Tatiana. Different person again. SARAHK: Better than Jasmine, for sure. She and Megan have the best girl voices tonight.

Anoop Desai: “My Prerogative.” Srsly? The beginning is far too low for him, and he struggles. The whole thing was… not for me. Whatevs, they’re gonna love all over him, because he’s chosen. SIMON: This has been a very strange night tonight. You’re like an enthusiastic dog, aren’t you? Again, not the best singer we’re gonna hear, but people like you, and that’s important. One of the jobs we’ve gotta do tonight is we’ve gotta cast the next stage. Not just the singers, but the personalities. SARAHK: Blerg. Yarf. You choose. RANDY: I think you did better this time than the last time. SARAHK: He was hella boring last time. KAHRA: I don’t like to get up and dance, but I wanted to dance. PAULER: You certainly are the showman. And you’re whipping out moves that are a little nasty there. But the truth is, everyone loved that performance. And that’s where you stay relevant. For once, I’m glad you picked a song you’ve already done.

Based on the crap sandwich we all had to share at the crap sandwich buffet tonight, I rank them thus:
Ricky
Megan
Tatiana
Matt
Anoop
Von
Jasmine
Jesse

So based on that, Ricky, Megan, and Tatiana should go through. The judges will put through… Megan, Anoop, and… hrm. Jasmine or Tatiana. I’m gonna go with Jasmine.

They have the length of a commercial break to decide, and we’re to believe that they haven’t predetermined?

Jasmine is… in. Wankers. Bad choice. Did you see Kahra’s lip turn up? She doesn’t look pleased.
Ricky is… out. Wankers. Bad choice.
Megan and Tatiana are up together. Megan’s in. Tatiana’s out. Tatiana is standing on the low floor in front of the judges’ table.
And… they had to squeeze in one more commercial break, and that’s where the DVR cut off, so I don’t know who else made it, but I’m assuming it’s Anoop.

Oh, so I checked the Idol forums, and apparently, they put in four tonight and made it a Top 13. And the final two are Matt and Anoop. So they put in Matt and left out Ricky?

I’m seriously considering going John Galt on season 8. Suck it, producers (and Kahra, who’s totally ruining this season).

(My friends at Sirlinksalot have more American Idol links.)