Okay, so I learned some stuff tonight. I’m very smart, see, so last night I recognized this Von Smith kid on the show. I was sure I had seen him on The View back in my housewife days. Rosie had seen some kid on YouTube singing “And I Am Telling You,” and she flipped her gourd, because that’s what Rosie does all the time, and she decided they HAD to have him on to sing. And he came on and sang, and American Idol was going on, and she was insistent that he was better than any of the kids on there right now (he wasn’t–I’m not being mean, I just remember thinking that). So now he’s on AI, and I think that’s the only reason he made it through round one in Hollywood week–because he’s a big YouTube hit, or was.

Also, I watched the first half of the Kansas City auditions and saw Jason Castro’s brother Michael. He has a good voice and acts dumb like his brother! And starting tonight’s show just now, I’m pretty sure I see him with his pink emo hair, so I’ll probably be a fawning fangirl. I mean, he looks like he washes his hair and everything, which already gives him a one up on his brother.

Alright then. Let the meltdowns begin!

So only forty contestants got booted last night, and we have over a hundred still. Oh, there’s that guy I’m really wanting to see!

I hate how people are such jerks and don’t want people in their groups and want people to be stuck out. But I’m really glad they show it on TV, because it makes for fun drama. Oh, LOL! Rose is in a group with Bikini Girl, and that, to me, is beauty in its most pure form. Danny and Jamar (the BFFs from Kansas City auditions) have a great group, and they sound good together. Tatiana from San Juan is melting down. Awesome. She tries to get into another group. One of the girls is thrilled, but the other two people are not down with that. Drama!

Now Tatiana is jumping back to her old group, and the new group is flipping. Oh, Tatiana. Please stay in the competition. You bring me joy. Both groups that Tatiana has touched are falling apart. And we have tears on Team Compromise! Bikini girl is trying to ruin her group, and Rose isn’t having it. I think she’s ready to kick BG out. BG goes to bed and cries. Boy tears on Team Compromise! “You both can’t get over each other to realize it’s not just your dream!” He pontificates with vigor in the wee hours of the morning in his turquoise shirt and pink tie.

Ok, I’m sorry. I have to say it: The other girl (the one who doesn’t want to rest her voice) kind of has drag queen hair.

No one slept last night. Rose’s group has to go to BG’s room and try to get her out of bed, but she’s just going to mope in bed and go home, I guess. They decide to do without her. What else is she gonna do?

Drag queen hair girl is Nancy.

Other groups are happy families. Tatiana’s group has even pulled it together now that they’re not all cranky and sleep-deprived.

Bikini Girl doesn’t appear to be showing up. Oh, but she is! She’s decided she’s not gonna quit after all. So with very little rehearsing, she’s showing up. The other girls are unhappy. Rose is sure it’s going to be a train wreck.

The judges tell the groups that if they forget the words, they’re out. Simon says it’s the most important thing to remember. What, they think they’re supposed to just hum? It’s a singing competition, and singing has words! Why does this surprise them!

White Chocolate is up first, and yes, they named themselves this. India is rapping, the white guys are singing, and now they’re all singing and she’s in the background singing too. They are good. Even Simon is smiling. Great job. They’re all through to the next round.

Next group? The girls forget the words, the guys remember them. The girls go home.

Action Squad has perfected their group handshake and their choreography, but do they know the words? The suspense is killing me! Ooh, Ryan Pinkston, I like. And now they’ve forgotten their words, namely Emily Winne-Hughes has forgotten the words, and the group is prompting her. Hmm. Ryan and Emily go. I’m surprised about Ryan but not about Emily. The other guy who isn’t as good and makes funny faces is through. Ryan feels like he’s seen a side of Pauler that he didn’t know was there. “I saw an evil in her eyes.” No, dude. That was drunkenness.

Rose is so busy telling everyone that her group is going to be a disaster. That’s the right attitude, champ! I can’t blame her, though. If I was in a group with Bikini Girl, I’d despair too.

The judges are not enjoying the day. Simon even tells Kara that she needs to give him a chance to finish before she jumps in, and Pauler calls Simon a bad name.

Danny and Jamar and their two girls go a capella, and it is fantastic. Find me somebody to love, indeed. Beautiful. You can tell Danny is a church music boy. Simon tells Danny (my favorite this week by far) to step forward. He says Danny is through to the next round, and the other three are joining him. That was mean. But yay!

Jeremy Michael Sarver, Adam Lambert, Matt Breitzke, Jesse Langseth–all good. Adam Lambert clearly a front-runner.

Team Diva (Rose, BG, and the others) is next. Lauren Barnes is good. BG is not good. Rose forgets her words, but then she picks it up and is good. Jasmine Murray is great. You don’t want to sing to the judges to release you during group week. Rose, BG, and Lauren are gone. Jasmine’s through. I thought Lauren should have gone through to the next round. Bikini Girl poses, doesn’t hug her teammates, walks off. Kara calls her a b*tch.

David Osmond is out! Gasp! What?! What?! But! But! NO! See, this is why I should be a judge. Not Kara. He would still be in the competition.

Tatiana’s group is not good. The judges stop them, and Tatiana decides to sing again. The entire group is safe. Really? Because I was totally not impressed. And David Osmond is gone. WHAT?!

Tatiana thanks Jesus and everyone for her greatness. Because Jesus really cares if Tatiana wins American Idol.

Team Compromise has prayed. The blonde girl says she’s just tired of the drama. It’s distracting. Wow, they are bad. Kristin MacNamara, the blonde girl, is good until she tries to do that high singing thing. Simon thinks everyone tried to sabotage the others while singing backup. Nathaniel and Kristin make it. Nancy’s out, and she has no love for her group. Kristin is trying to fake like she is sad about Nancy, trying to pretend to be the big girl, but I’m totally seeing right through that baloney.

The blind guy is still in, so yay! A consolation prize after David is out. I’m overwhelmingly happy about Danny and Jamar. I love them, especially Danny.

Sirlinksalot has more American Idol.