I know I’m opening myself up by saying that, so here, I’ll say it for you. “YOU don’t understand teh funny, SarahK! You’re stupid and unfunny, and you smell like massage oils! So who are you to judge?”

Well, I voted for Jeff Dye like ninety-nine times (or seven, I saved three for Iliza, because while Jeff was by far the funniest last week, Iliza was the funniest almost every other night), yet Marcus is standing on the stage with Iliza right now, the last two standing; since I was a voter, I say I get to judge. Marcus shouldn’t even have been in the top five, but that’s what you get when you let Kendra and the gang rule the immunity challenge. Sean Cullen was way funnier than Marcus.

Every time they were counting down tonight, I was like, “Marcus will be the first one out.” It was Louis, and I was like, “What? Da hey?” Yeah. Then I said, “Marcus is next to go.” Jim Tavare. WhatEVER. “Marcus is next out.” JEFF DYE? ARE YOU RETARDED, AMERICA? The last few weeks, I’ve been cackling every time he said anything. I know, I know, y’all are gonna think it’s because he’s so dreamy with that just-woke-up hair and those precious eyes and that yummy smile. Whatevs, that guy is hilarious. “Um… If Iliza doesn’t win this, I’m never watching again.” Big loss it would be, considering this is our first year to watch. Finally, Iliza was crowned and yay for that. I would have been happy with Iliza #1 and Jeff #2 and equally (or more) happy with Jeff #1 and Iliza #2. But Marcus? He shouldn’t even have been in the top five. Don’t get me wrong, he’s funny. But once you’re past the impressions, there’s not much funny left there. He did make me laugh more than Adam did, so I’ll give him that.

About it being our first season and all. Other than the comedy, the show kinda sucks, so it’s good that there is a lot of comedy. I assumed that once they got to a top ten or twelve, we’d have one or two leave each week, and then they’d pick each other off. But no. First some unfunny people (that Law & Order guy? Not funny.) got to decide who went on, and what kinda crappy choice-makers were these guys? They put in people like Papa CJ and Adam Hunter and left out some really funny people (like that Muslim girl and the black chick — forgive me, it was a few weeks ago, so I don’t remember names). When they announced the first set of five going on to the top twelve, I was in shock. The second set (seven people) were better, but I was still reeling from the shock of the first set.

And the worst part is the way the show is set up. Weeks and weeks of auditions, fine. Then the top twelve. Two dismissed each week, that was fine. But after Iliza had kicked everyone’s butt two weeks in a row, suddenly we’re whittled down to five, and America votes off all but the last comic standing? Haven’t they heard that reality TV is all about dragging everything out as long as possible? I would prefer to see maybe one week of auditions and then kick off two a week until the top five, and one a week after that. Way more exciting.

Anyway, we may watch it next year for the comedy, but it’s not very well done. So say we all.