*The medley tonight is “Right Back Where We Started From.” Better than last week.
*Oh yeah. So I downloaded “Come Together” after Carly sang it. I had it on my iPod, but so far it hadn’t come up on my list. A few days after I downloaded it, I got an email from iTunes saying that there may have been sound issues on the copy I got, so here’s a link to download it again. And yeah. I finally heard it for the first time today (I haven’t yet downloaded the new one), and it doesn’t even sound like Carly. It’s a different girl altogether. Weird.
*This is a big giant iPod, iPhone, and iTunes promo tonight.
*Ramiele’s high-waist shorts last night. Say it with me: Ughhhhhh.
*I just want to squeeze David Archuleta’s little head off after that ridiculous song last night.
*Kristy sang the smartest song she could have sung last night.
*Chikezie is up first. He’s in the bottom three.
*Brooke is next. She’s safe, and our DVR keeps screwing up right as the contestants are talking. Sound keeps cutting out.
*Carly was wearing Spanx last night to try to make herself look thinner, and that’s why she looked so pained. And she’s not pregnant. She’s safe. Ack. The sound is killing me. Every five words the sound cuts out. Stupid sleet storm.
*Cheesy Ford commercial: “I Want You to Want Me.” That was actually kinda cool.
*David Archuleta. Please, America, get this one right. Boo America! David is safe to sing yet another agenda song next week. Maybe he’ll sing “Give Peace a Chance”! It would be totally teh awesome (if “awesome” means “suck”).
*David Cook. Chris Cornell loved David Cook’s cover of his own cover of “Billy Jean.”
*Syesha is in the bottom three. It’s because she won’t listen to me and stop wearing those blasted earrings.
*Michael is safe. Yay!
*Ummmm, America is racist! Both of the black peeps are on the urinals. Shame on you, Amerikkka. Michelle Obama is so not proud of you right now, and this is further proof that the Amerikkkan government invented HIV to kill off Chikezie and Syesha. They also invented vodka to kill off Paula.
*Will he never go away? Constantine is in the audience raping the camera. Hey, the Glock is sitting next to him!
*Sarah (not me) wants to know if Chikezie is single. He is currently very very single.
*Someone wants to know why David A chose that crap song last night. He just loves that song so so much so so much blah blah blah. Hey David, do you love that song?
*Some sixteen year old wants to know (asking Simon) what it would take to steal Ryan’s job. “The good news is you don’t need a lot of talent.”
*Caitlin wants to know who Brooke would duet with out of anyone. Someone from today, she would duet with John Mayer.
*Does Simon consider himself the most attractive person on the show? “Look, it’s not what I say, it’s what other people say.” Including me, peeps. He’s hawt.
*Hey, that’s Kim Locke from season two. She has two albums and opened a restaurant. Good for her. Also has lost forty pounds. Again, good for her. She’s going to sing now, and she looks fantastic (other than the bazoombas taking on a life of their own and crawling out of the dress). Wait. Why do I know this song? Did someone else sing this? I recognize it, but I hardly ever listen to pop any more. Too much painful R&B. Aha. It’s also a country song by Clay Walker. Knew I’d heard it. Anyway, contestants, that’s how it’s done. Excellent.
*Holy craps, y’all! Carrie is coming to Boise May 25th! Um, sweetie? I love you. Just thought this was the perfect moment to tell you. I love you the bestest.
*Hey, Fergie’s gonna pee on the stage during Idol Gives Back. Peachy!
*Agh! Black kids are the cutest and the squishiest. I want to bake them all pies and pinch their cheeks.
*Ramiele is safe. Didn’t see that coming. Frank: “If Ramiele’s in the bottom three, it’ll be an all ethnic bottom three.” SarahK: “Our souls are in need of reparations.”
*Um, nervous SarahK here. Nervous nervous. Jason is on the stage with Kristy. It’s down to them. He was kind of boring, and she played the patriot card. Lee Greenwood called and loved the Patriot Act. Kristy is safe.
*Which means Jason is in the bottom three. I can’t take it. I’m going to need a moment. Jason rambles on about how he knew it he knew it, he’s never gone this late in the show, he knew it would be a big shocker, and he knew since last night that he was probably going to the bottom three. Ryan: “Jason. You’re safe.” “Oh.” I can exhale. BTW, he was only in the bottom three because of his dreads, and see, that’s a very Jamaican thing, and you know what Jamaica’s full of: black people.
*I don’t know what to pick here. Based on last night, Chikezie should go. Based on every single other week, Syesha should go. I think Chikezie’s leaving.
*Simon says Chikezie chose the wrong song last night. Same with Jason. He didn’t like Syesha’s song either.
*Syesha is safe. Chikezie’s out like Seacrest. That’s too bad, we actually came around on him.
*I wish no one ever had to leave Idol so we’d never have to hear this Ruben Studdard song.
*Chikezie has one of the best personalities of all the contestants this season. He has his diva moments, but I like him and his sweater vests and his dancin’ mama. I hope he puts out a bluegrass album. Seriously.