I’m just now watching the full results show from last week. I’ll jot some notes along the way but it’s too late for a full recap.

*Carly looks like she knows she’s in trouble this week.
*Kellie Pickler to perform, SarahK to barf.
*Mentors for the season. Dolly Parton. Mariah Carey (blerg). Andrew Lloyd Webber! Holy smokes! Neil Diamond. I wish it were Chris Turk impersonating Neil Diamond instead.
*Lame first single of Jordin Sparks. This is My Cow or something like that. Horrific. You, too, can write a horrific first single if you are at least eighteen.
*Beatles medley 2.0. I love “While My Guitar Gently Weeps.” Not so much David A singing it. He’s losing me. The guys are good harmonizers. Ramiele is lipsynching while Brooke sings? That’s weird. Whoa. That was a freaky deaky camera shake on Kristy. I think the camera guy fell asleep. Did a little deep head bob. It’s true, I heard Amanda didn’t even pretend to sing while the girls were on the couch, and people weren’t lying. Was that an entire White Album medley?
*Kevin Covais (Chicken Little) in the audience. He looks like he’s grown up. Nearing fourteen now.
*Ryan says “over there are the stools we will fill with our bottom… three.” The bottoms of the bottom three, actually. I don’t know why I’m amused by that.
*Brooke actually cheered and fist pumped when she got into the top ten? That’s different for her.
*I hope Carly learned her lesson about whining or saying heartfelt whatevers.
*Aw, cute. The two Mormons the first on the couch.
*Michael is always nervous for results. Did he do a half-faint thingy? Too much. Too much.
*Amanda re: the crappy Ford video: “What I like best about doing this video is that it’s actually pretty easy to do.” Yeah, actually, I don’t remember seeing her in it.
*Sleepy thought that was her strongest performance. Yeah, maybe, but it wasn’t that strong.
*Eee! Jason! I want to bake him a pie. A whole pie shop full of pies.
*I was surprised to not see Ramiele in the bottom three. She’s a cutie pie, but she’s had several bad weeks in a row.
*Viewer question for Simon: “Why do you spend so much money on cars and nothing on clothes?” That’s ugly. “Unlike some of the other people on this show, I actually don’t have an ego.” Ryan: “Now you’re being rude to Paula.” “I’m thinking of someone else standing on the stage.” Apparently Simon bought a million dollar car and it’s cramped with no a/c.
*Would Simon ever consider filming a sequence to the kiss scene from season two? Simon says yes, because Pauler is actually a very good kisser. Woooo.
*Michael says, “Apparently I peaked in Hollywood…” Poor Michael.
*Ryan introduces Kellie Pickler and notes that she has grown in so many ways. Particularly two ways. I still can’t believe she gets played on the radio and has an album. I do have to give her a little respect because she just got back from Iraq. Touche, Kellie Pickler. Touche. She is cute in her videos. That’s why she should have a goofy TV show and never sing again. Ever.
*Can’t understand a word of that. See, her problem is that she tries to stretch one-syllable words into five syllables, and the only person who can get away with that is Dr. Cox. She is wearing soul crushers because she hates me. All I’ve ever been to her is nice, y’all. Why the hate? Anyway, Randy cannot remove his eyes from her backside, and he is ogling with happy fervor. Simon has such a gorgeous smile. It’s over, yay!
*Update on the $76 million they raised last year on Idol Gives Back. Elliott and Fantasia went to Africa and handed out blankets. While they were there, a baby was born. It’s traditional to name the baby after a visitor, and since the newborn is a boy, they named him Elliott. sniff!
*Syesha in the top ten. I almost hope she gets better because her family is so happy for her. But she just bores me to yawns.
*I like it when they’re so happy to stay (I speak of Carly).
*Get off the stage, Sleepy. Stop trying to steal Amanda’s moment of pain. David A looks like he’s trying not to smile. Amanda is so gorgeous, especially when her hair is down flat.
*I’d much rather have her on the tour than Sleepy, since I’m dragging Frank to it this year. She forgot lots of words on her last song.