That’s a great intro to American Idol. Lots of product pimpage.

Anyway, it’s the cut to the final 24. I just now realized that this time they didn’t have three rooms full of people waiting to be cut or put through to next rounds. I really liked how they did Hollywood week this time.

Ronald Hodge is first, and I don’t remember much of him. I don’t think he got much airplay. He’s out.

Nina Shaw is also out. As is Mycale Guyton. And Lisa Aukerman.

Hey, what was with all the blue tongues on stage in Hollywood week? I noticed more than one.

Carly Smithson, the Irish girl, is next, and she should easily move into the top 24. Pauler tries to make her think she might not move on by rambling on and on — that’s like one step away from having pretty shoes and being a beautiful girl. Anyway, she’s in. Yay!

David Cook is next, and he’s in. I hope he brings his pink tie to the top 24.

Amanda Overmyer, the nurse biker chick (hey, I have an aunt who’s a nurse biker chick!), is up next. I really liked her at first, but she kind of came across later as fairly affected and a little forced. I love her personality and I think she’s pretty hot (in a totally platonic way), but on stage the last couple of times her body seemed to shake fiercely every note she sang. You know what I mean? Like she sings a note, and her whole torso lunges backward from sheer force of it? Anyway, it’s a little rough for me, but I might like hearing her on the radio. I’m on the fence about her. And she’s in. I’m kinda glad, because I want to see more of her before I make a decision.

It’s a no for Brandon Green, Amanda Hawkins, and Buck Smith. Wait, was Brandon Green the one who sang “Light My Fire” his first showing in Hollywood week? Because I really liked that guy. I mean, I’m not broken up over it or anything, but I’d thought he was pretty promising.

David Archuleta is next, and I like him so much. Precious little boy. Unanimously good news from the judges after a big tease from Simon. Then “off you go.”

Kristy Lee Cook is next. Is she the only one with a country voice? I haven’t noticed many at all this season. She’s in.

Brooke White (the awesome and precious Aryan girl) is falling apart just waiting to see the judges. She is so gorgeous. I hate giant hoop earrings and wish people would never wear them. Randy tortures her before telling her she’s in. It would have been insane for them to send her home.

Danny Noriega is in. Jason Castro. Luke Menard. Alexandra Lushington. All in. Wow, Jason Castro has really long dreds.

Ramiele Malubay, the tiny little Asian girl, is next, and she’s in.

Shaun Barrowes is out. Lorena Pinot is out. Drew Poppelreiter, the turkey farmer, is out. Natasha Block is out.

Oh no wait. This guy, Michael Johns, is the one who sang “Light My Fire” that I liked so well. Oh yeah, also “Bohemian Rhapsody,” which I loved loved loved. Have y’all noticed Taylor is usually not in the posters anymore? Hmm, wonder why (not really). Anyway, Michael is in, and yay for that.

Syesha Mercado, the beautiful black girl with the giant bushy hair, is next. She is really good, but I’m not crazy about her. I guess she just kinda doesn’t stand out to me as unique. Anyway, she’s in.

Robbie Carrico, the guy from Melbourne, is next. He’s in, and I’m glad, because maybe he’ll want to buy our lovely golf course home if he wins. It’s funny, every time he comes on the screen, I say (to Frank, of course), “Hey, that’s the guy from Melbourne!” I’m a dork. I totally own it.

We love the Terminator series. If you’re not watching it, please do so, because it may be on the bubble.

Garrett Haley (who looks disturbingly like Don Imus), Kady Malloy, Chikezie Eze, Amy Davis (who looks exactly like the love interest in A Knight’s Tale), Alaina Whitaker (didn’t we have an Alaina last year?), and Jason Yeager are all in.

Asia’h Epperson, whose dad supposedly died two days before her audition and who has a lovely, unusual voice, is next. She’s in.

David Hernandez is next. He’s in, it’s not unanimous. Simon was against the decision and tells him that he’ll have to work harder.

Josiah Leming is next. The one with the precious Jason Mrazzy voice who blew it on his last performance in Hollywood week. The one living in his car. He’s out. I think that’s a bad call. He got a little full of himself and did himself in, but his voice, my goodness. He tends to just fall apart and crumble a lot, but I really think he is special. Maybe he can finish high school and get his ego in check before next year.

Okay, this future governor of Oklahoma kid? At first I thought he was awful, but after he sang “You Raise Me Up,” I changed my tune on him a bit. I think Josiah would have been a better pick, but if he’s in, I’m good with that.

Colton Berry and Kyle Ensley (Oklahoma) are the last two guys standing. Colton is in, and Kyle is out. Simon gives a really heartwarming speech to Kyle. Simon completely disagreed with the decision and thought he deserved a shot. Simon actually looks a little depressed here. He goes on about how he really thinks Kyle would have been great in the competition. Kyle takes the news with dignity and grace, and I just want to bake him a pie and squeeze his cheeks.

The last two girls standing are Joanne Borgella, the drop-dead gorgeous plus-sized model, and Cardin McKinney, who moved to Nashville to try to be a singer. Watching their Hollywood week performances just now, I said a resounding no to both of them (more resounding re: Cardin). Maybe those were just off performances or something. Anyway, it’s down to them.

And that’s where the DVR cut off, so good luck to the top 23 and either Cardin or Joanne!