This week at STD Manor, metrosexual snitch Tailor Made is an outcast–no one wants to room with him, so he goes to sleep by the pool. Of course, someone goes out to yell in his ear to wake him up in the middle of the night. [SK: Yo, CH. We have categories for a reason. :-P]

Switch to the next morning, when the guys are told to grab their “most important or meaningful item” to bring to New York. The person who most impresses her gets a date. The guys go into the room where a “spiritualist” (who looks like an old witch to me) is sitting with New York. The guys are to offer up a sacrifice, then sign a blood oath. There are candles, incense, and plastic skulls all over. The old witch is holding a pendulum, which is connected to the witch’s “higher self” and the angels (who apparently are taking time off from the children’s hospital to participate in a VH1 reality show). The witch claims there are 16 souls loose in the house who will punish anyone who lies.

The Entertainer believes all of this junk and kneels before New York, offering her a scarf made by Down Syndrome kids he works with. I couldn’t help but think of There’s Something About Mary where Matt Dillon’s character has the following exchange with Mary:

[after telling Mary that he’s an architect]
Pat Healy: Really, it’s only a side thing for my true passion.
Mary: And what’s that?
Pat Healy: I work with retards.
Mary: Isn’t that a little politically incorrect?
Pat Healy: Yeah, maybe, but hell, no one’s gonna tell me who I can and can’t work with.
Mary: NO, I mean . . .
Pat Healy: There’s this one kid, we call him Mongo. He has a forehead like a drive-in movie theater. But he’s a good sh1t so we don’t bust his chops too much. He got out of his cage once and–
MARY: He’s in a cage?!
Pat Healy: Well it’s more of an enclosure really.
Mary: They keep him confined? That’s b.s.!
Pat Healy: That’s what I said, so I went out and got him a leash, you know, one of those clothesline runners for the backyard. He’s got plenty of room out there to dig. Thekid’s really blossomed. Now I can take him to ball games, movies–you know, happy stuff.

The witch says The Entertainer is not a pervert (though he is into toe sucking), and he signs off on a blood oath. He curiously brags later that “I’ve never broken up with a woman–they always leave me”! [SK: These are actual humans who live in the real world somehow?]

Next up is Mr. Wise who offers a painting done of him by his father–New York is not impressed because it looks “too hot” to be him. It actually looks like Spike Lee crossed with John Turturro. Next up is Pretty, who offers a tie given to him by Clinton. Wolf gives up his college track championship ring and reasserts that his penis is as big as he has claimed and pledges that he will only use his “blessed member for good.” [SK: And the guys who talk about having mega-penises always do, right?]

Next up is Punk who gives up his father’s watch–he died several weeks before he was accepted to Harvard Law School–though why anyone who could get into Harvard Law would have interest in New York is beyond me.

Next is It, who handed over a wallet from his grandmother and a ring his mother used to pass a driving test (a good luck charm?). He swears he is as nuts as he appears and is not an actor. [SK: That’s always a turn-on!] He refuses to put his blood oath on paper and cannot even admit he is “there for her”. She threatens that if he thinks the spirits are bad, wait until she gets on his sorry behind.

Next up is Midget Mac, who offers up the pictures of his two daughters. His financee died just four months ago! My questions is, what the heck is this idiot doing away from his kids when they just lost their mom?! [SK: Um, he’s a loser?]

Tailor Made is extremely nervous and comes forward. He presents a picture of his daughter Asia, and she doesn’t buy his speech. I wouldn’t be surprised if the photo in the frame came with the frame. The witch warns him about signing the paper, because he claims he is not a snitch and will be punished by the spirits for lying.

New York walks out with the witch, and is a little nervous that evil spirits will show up to punish them all for the lies of a few. At dinner, she tells Punk that he is the winner of the challenge. Tailor Made makes a lame toast to gain favor with everyone. Punk reads a letter from Buddha slamming Tailor Made for being a weasel. Tailor Made brags later that he “took it like a man, by hanging my head down in shame.”

New York talks with Midget Mac about whether he is ready to date so soon after the death of his financee. He says he is, and she kisses him, despite his tiny lips, tiny tongue, tiny teeth, and tiny head.

New York next confronts It about not signing the blood oath. He didn’t want to mess with the spirits because he didn’t love her yet.

Back at the mansion the lights suddenly go out–apparently it was “the spirits”. Next, a bunch of stuff falls–right on camera coincidentally, so everyone runs for the doors. New York is totally freaked out. [Those producers are flippin’ geniuses!] Punk, the Harvard Law grad, is convinced the spirits “are PISSED OFF” due to the lies told under oath. New York takes off for a hotel, leaving the guys to stay with the evil spirits. Punk calls Tailor Made the “Prince of Darkness” because he is just sleeping through it all. Next, the lights in the gym fall down, totally freaking out The Entertainer and Punk. The Entertainer puts on a helmet (that It was wearing in a previous episode) and goes to bed–he looks like a total idiot.

The next morning, Punk is getting ready for his date, though he is still freaking about “the spirits”. They go to a spa to have lunch, and New York quickly realizes he is too normal for her. He senses trouble, so he goes in for a kiss, smoky mouth and all. [SK: Ewwww!] She responds appropriately. [SK: Is anything actually *appropriate* on this show?]

Back at the mansion, the guys have a fiesta pool party. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t realize that Sister Patterson invited herself to the party. She grills The Entertainer and is not impressed that the witch said he was not a pervert [she is highly religious]. They start fighting again, and eventually Sister Patterson throws her drink at him.

When New York returns, she meets with Tailor Made to discuss how things were going. She is dazzled by his b.s., and he is back in her good graces.

Cut to elimination–Tailor Made is confident he will survive. It is concerned, and Midget Mac is pretty confident since she kissed him (note to Midget Mac–she passes those kisses out pretty freely).

The first to stay is Punk. Next is Tailor Made (whom the Entertainer accurately describes as a snitch and an @$$h0l3) [SK: LANGUAGE!] . Next are Mr. Wise, Pretty and Wolf. Next is the Entertainer (based mostly upon the witch’s endorsement).

Finally, its down to Midget Mac and It. She likes Midget Mac but cuts him loose because he is still going through pain over the passing of his financee. I’m not sure why he isn’t home with his kids, especially since they just lost their mom, but who am I to judge? [SK: Yeah! Who are you to judge?] Midget Mac has perspective on the situation and wisely notes that he probably was rushing into this show to hide the pain from his financee’s passing.

Although New York has one more chain, she announces that it will not be going to the only remaining contestant, It. New York thinks that It is an actor, and if he is not acting she can’t be with an idiot in any event. There is still one chain left, so guess who is back . . . yes, Buddha! Tailor Made is justifiably concerned. They are all doomed now.

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