• “How’s it going, Keith?” “You ruined my life.” “Nice to see you.”
• “It’s remarkable. Your handwriting is even more annoying than your voice.”
• “I am your doctor. Deal with it?
• How can you be exercising playing video games if you’re not Wiiing?
• “I’m gonna be a bluncle!” I knew that meant black uncle even before they explained it to Carla. I thought it was because I know Scrubs so well, but Frank said it’s because we both do the same thing, combining words like that for fun all the time. Yes, we’re losers.
• LOL, Men at Work. “So that’s what that song is about.”
• “Why does she think I’m joking? I hate her and her chipmunky face.”
• “Kim, your quiet voice is a little louder than usual.”
• Finally, Jordan! Wait, this is only episode two. But still, I missed her last episode.
• What’s europathy? Did Coxy mean neuropathy? Please clarify for me, you smart readers.
• “Alright, people, listen up. I need to beat this video game before Kim delivers J.D.’s bastard child. Takes two people to do it, so I can’t do it by myself. Who’s with me?” “I would, Turkleton, but I only play Pac-Man and that carjack game. There’s nothing like scoring a Caddy and mowing down street hos.”
• “We’re friends at night.”
• “What are your thoughts on cloth diapers? Because if we got black ones with orange spots, our kid would look like Bam-Bam.” LOL.
• “J.D. I love you.” “Cool.”
• I bet her baby comes out black.
• “Ok, all we have to do here is kill space goblins.” “And what’s my motivation?” “To kill space goblins.” “Yeah, but am I killing them because I hate them, or because I don’t share their space-goblin values?” “Whatever you want.”
• “You realize that while you’re talking, his friends are shooting you in the face, right?” “Now that’s just rude.”
• That part where Kim said she always wanted to be with a man who hoped to maybe fall in love with her someday was funny.
• Carla: “This is what you call being there for J.D.? [expletive], I don’t think I could be any angrier at you!” Turkleton: “Oh yeah? Well, you’re about to find out, because I’m finishing this game!” My husband: “I wish I was that brave.”
• Holy cow! Um, Laverne is back? Except that she’s dead.
• “I hate you so much right now, J.D.!” “Don’t worry, all women say bad stuff during labor. She doesn’t mean it.” “I do. He just broke up with me.” “No no. Technically I didn’t break up with her, I just said I didn’t love her.” And she broke up with him, actually. Laverne?!: “Who did he say that to?” “The mother of his baby.” “Oh no he didn’t.” J.D.: “She looks familar.”
• “There’s no lamp in this game, sir.” “I was talking to your wife. Hit Turkleton with this lamp.”
• “I would give her a shot, Perry, but… this is scotch, and I’m all Hasselhoffed out.”
• Keith: “That’s disgusting.” Elliot: “Hey Keith!” Keith: “Burn in hell.”
• Cox: “Fine. But if you use the words ‘emotional rollercoaster,’ I am O-U-T.” J.D.: “Deal. I just feel like I’m on this, like, emotional… ride of some sort…”
• Turkleton: “Baby, don’t get it twisted, that girl is my world, but… every now and then I gotta do my own thing. You’ve heard of hunger pangs? I get sports pangs and watch-Judge-Dredd-with-J.D. pangs.” LOL, Judge Dredd.
• Kelso (to Harrison): “Of course you had to break up with him. No one you love should ever sell your car without asking and then blow the money on meth.”
• Coxy: “I’m sure there’s someone somewhere who would be proud to call you their son.” J.D.: “Would you be proud to call me your son?” Coxy: “This conversation is over.”
• Kim: “I hate your hair.” J.D.: “Impossible. Nobody does.”
• Turk: “I can’t believe we finished that game.” Carla: “Oh, baby. I finished it a bunch of times.” This will be me with the Wii. I will beat all the games while Frank is at work. And I’ll pretend I’ve been slaving over the house all day.

I love the Turks. I hope they do a Scrubs spinoff about them. And what’s the deal with Laverne’s appearance tonight?