Snark only. No full recap.

• They’re in Amityville. Oh, the horror! Haha, I’m so funny.
• Lindsey is filming the crime scene. In a minute she’s gonna turn the camera on herself and say, “I’m… so… scared!”
• I can’t believe Danny is leaving Lindsay in there alone!
• I love the new opening credits.
• Lindsay’s a little stupid. She doesn’t feel the need to let Danny know that there’s a crazy woman inside the house? And when things are that creepy, why would she not turn on the lights? I know it’s against TV protocol, but come ON.
• Lindsay at the hospital with the little girl. “Hey, your family’s dead, so I got you a stuffed dog.”
• All the Haitian stuff in the voodoo doll: The one that buried the guy alive was the Haitian from Heroes!
• David Maus, stop making me laugh at you! Move your arms!
• Mac should have said to the fortune teller lady at the front desk: “Oookay, Crazy Lady!”
• Dude. The 333/666 on her eyelids? Creepy! Oh, and I am so tired of rolling my eyes at people who totally misunderstand 666.
• Hey, I bet that guy faked his death with sodium morphate. In a glass of red wine.
• Mmmm. Snickers Dark. Would that I could eat that.
• The devil made him do it.