A guy is running through the basement of a building carrying a laptop. Security spots him and pulls a gun on him. The laptop guy looks sickly and pale. All the cameras go out, and while the guard is distracted, computer guy knocks out the guard, takes his badge, and uses it to escape. He comes out of the basement, and he’s overlooking the ocean, the door to the cellar/basement the only thing around. The sun hurts his eyes.

At work, Chuck is being asked all sorts of sales questions, and he can’t find any salespeople to help the customers. He finally finds them all in the break room, where the salespeople and the rest of the Nerd Herders are playing a game of Mystery Crisper. Morgan is blindfolded, and all the employees are cheering him on. He asks for his weapon, a spoon, and he eats a spoonful of the mystery disgusto-concoction he has taken out of the crisper. Everyone cheers, except Chuck, who looks on in bemusement. Morgan is the big hero. Big Mike comes into the break room and calls for Chuck. On the way to Big Mike’s office, Harry Tang taunts Chuck.

Big Mike says that the best part of being one of the bosses at the Buy More is the medical insurance. Big Mike says he doesn’t care about the job, but his body is his temple, and he must treat it as such. Chuck tries to leave, and Big Mike tells him that a guy from corporate is coming to interview Chuck and Tang for the A.M. job on Wednesday, that Tang has the charisma of a prostate exam and he knows that people like Chuck. He tells Chuck that if the HR guy likes him, the job will be his and to not screw it up. He also tells Chuck that Morgan needs to be on his best behavior so he doesn’t drag Chuck down with him.

Ellie and Captain Awesome are having a Halloween party, and Chuck says he may be late because of his interview. Ellie jinxes things by saying that they’ll also make it into an Assistant Manager party. She pinches Chuck’s cheeks because he’s growing up and asks if maybe he and Morgan are grown up enough to have separate costumes this year. She says the two-man sea cucumber routine is a little creepy. He corrects her and says it’s a sandworm. LOL, Dune. He reminds Ellie that everyone always goes nuts over the costume. Captain Awesome walks in wearing a leaf and says he’s going as Adam. He also asks if Chuck wants to see his snake, and Chuck is quick to say no thanks to the snake viewing. Big Mike calls Chuck and asks where Morgan is, because Morgan is supposed to be working a double shift and went AWOL.

Down at the Santa Monica pier, Morgan is at an arcade in his Buy More shirt. Morgan tells Chuck everything is fine, because he has picked up the costume from the dry cleaner, and the ranch dressing stain from last year came out. He picks up a guitar for the “Guitar Shredder” video game and tells Chuck he’s got ten bucks riding on this game; the guy he’s playing has been beating him at it all week, so Morgan really needs to win.The guy walks up, and it’s the kid from the basement. Chuck gets a flash about him. His name is Lazslo, and his file says he’s considered dangerous. Chuck says, “Uh.. uh.. Morgan… this guy’s dangerous.” Morgan says, “Well, Morgan’s dangerous” and continues playing Guitar Shredder. Lazslo walks off, and when Chuck follows him, he asks Chuck who he works for. “I know you’re a spy. I designed that watch for the CIA.” Meanwhile, Morgan is kicking butt at the guitar game. Laz asks Chuck if there are more agents outside, and Morgan comes up and says Laz can’t escape from him. Laz runs off, Morgan runs after him wanting his ten dollars, and Chuck is chasing Morgan to keep him out of trouble. They don’t find Laz outside. Dun dun dunnnn.

At home, Sarah is waiting for Chuck in his room. She has told Ellie and Awesome that she has a surprise for Chuck; naturally they think Chuck and Sarah are gonna do IT. Chuck asks who Lazslo is and tells Chuck he did the right thing by following protocol. She says she’ll check in on Chuck first thing in the morning. She’s acting strange-ish. Chuck asks Sarah if she could hang out for a while since Awesome and Ellie think he’s getting lucky right now. He asks her to stay for the length of his Arcade Fires CD. He asks what she was doing in his room anyway, and she says she was bringing him a picture of the two of them at Comic Con. She’s photoshopped them like Leah and Han, and Chuck’s like, “Well, we’ve never been to Comic Con, and wow, we actually look like a real couple.” She says they *are* a real couple, just a different *kind* of real couple.

At the Buy More, Casey confronts Chuck and asks why he didn’t brief him on Lazslo last night. Chuck says he briefed Sarah and he thought they were all on the same team. Team Chuck. Haha. Casey: “We are, but I’m starting to feel like the guy who always gets picked last. I don’t like feeling like Team Chuck’s fat kid.” Casey asks what Chuck told Lazslo. Nothing except that when he asked where Chuck got his watch, Chuck said it was a gift from his girlfriend. I don’t remember his saying that. Casey says Chuck compromised himself *and* Sarah.

Out in customer land, Chuck is helping a lady, and she freaks when she sees the wall of TVs all showing a girl’s nasty, skanky whale tail. Chuck runs over and sees Morgan filming said skank while he shows a video camera’s features to some college-y type boys. Chuck grabs the video camera and sends the boys away, and Morgan says he was about to make a sale. Chuck says, no, you were about to get yourself fired for sexual harassment! Morgan says Chuck used to be cool, and Chuck says not since they were thirteen. He says Morgan is going to take Chuck down with him and tells him to grow up. Morgan walks off (cue the Peanuts sad music). Other Nerd Herders walk up and tell Chuck he was most impressive. Chuck’s not amused.

In the surround sound room of the Buy More, Casey draws the curtains and closes the room off so he can video conference with his boss. NSA tells Casey that they’ve been looking for Lazslo since he escaped from a lab last month. He’s a weapons designer and government brain who had his PhD by seventeen. He’s been working for a clandestine engineering subcontractor ever since then. He’s not someone the USG wants to lose to enemies. Casey’s like, “Grade A egg-head. Got it.” She tells Casey to bring in Lazslo and be careful. “What is he, gonna hurt me with his mind?” It does happen, Casey, and you should know. “I can kill you with my brain.” She shows what Lazslo did with his handlers, who look very dead and bloody.

Outside the Buy More, Lazslo comes up wearing a mask and tries to scare Chuck. Chuck says Halloween is tomorrow, and Lazslo pulls a gun on him. “Or today. It could be today.” Lazslo takes off his mask. Lazslo tells Chuck he didn’t kill anyone, he was framed, and he’s not a murderer. He wants to know why he’s on the FBI list. Chuck doesn’t know and says he believes Lazslo but says, “FYI? You’re kinda acting like a murderer!” Lazslo knows that Casey is talking to Pentagon operations right now; he designed the Buy More network and hacked into the encrypted system. He wants to know what Chuck told Casey. There’s a distraction, and Chuck takes this opportunity to wrestle Lazslo. Lazslo pins him to the hood of a car, and the gun starts dripping water on Chuck’s face. Just like a water gun! This is why we should hire *all* of our clandestine peeps straight out of grad school at seventeen. As long as we never let them outside, they think water guns are real. Laz introduces himself and says he needs Chuck’s help. Chuck is his only hope. But first, Laz wants some pancakes.

In the courtyard, Ellie and Awesome find Morgan sitting at the fountain and ask why he and Chuck aren’t practicing their snakedance for the party. Morgan corrects them and says Chuck is probably off doing something mature. Like seeing an opera. Or reading. Awesome tells Ellie they should help Morgan out.

At a diner, Chuck and Laz are eating pancakes and talking about all the stuff Laz designed for the CIA. Chuck says he’s like a real-life Q. That guy who used to make stuff for Bond. “Bond is that spy guy, right?” Chuck asked if they used to keep him in a cave. Underground lab, actually. For the last ten years. He just worked there and played video games. But no family, no friends. Chuck says, “No Bond!” That’s just inhumane. Lazslo is doodling. Chuck says that with the inhumanity of the lack of Bond, it’s no wonder Laz blew up all his research and busted out of there. Laz asks about Chuck’s work. Chuck says it’s complicated, and Laz says he has to be some kind of prodigy or genius, because the feds don’t bother guarding their people with undercover agents unless they’re really special, super good at something. He asks what Chuck is super good at, and Chuck says he’s a computer guy.

Morgan asks Ellie if he’s immature. Capt. Awesome steps in and asks Morgan to step into the kitchen, which is Ellie’s room. He puts Morgan in front of a mirror and tells him he needs to tuck in his shirt so he can grow. “How do I know if it’s time?” Awesome tells Morgan to tuck the shirt and just feel it. He’ll know when it’s right. “I don’t know. I kinda feel like… my junk’s out there for the whole world to see.” “Maybe that’s the point, Morgan. Maybe that’s the point.” Later, they’re sitting on the couch, drinking red wine. He says Morgan needs to always be direct, open, and honest, so Morgan says that when he was twelve, he used to crawl under Ellie’s bed to watch her undress. “Excellent.” I kinda like Awesome. Next Awesome talks to Morgan about hair products.

Laz tells Chuck that if he had it to do over again, he would never have gone to that pier. When he was eleven, he was on the pier playing Tetris, and a man walked up and asked if he wanted to take some tests. He did, and he was a genius. His parents didn’t know what to do with a kid so smart, so they signed him over to the government, and he’s been government property ever since. The check comes, Chuck pays, and Laz gives him his doodle as an IOU. I’ll bet Chuck gets a flash off of that later. Laz tells Chuck he can never tell his handlers that he ever saw him. Chuck says his handlers are the good guys, and Laz tells him to go home and check his room for bugs, because there are no good guys in this game. He tells Chuck that from now on, he should only trust his handlers as much as they trust him. Uh-oh.

Chuck gets home and starts checking everything for bugs. He finds one under a lamp in the livingroom, one in the phone downstairs. They’re in the lightbulbs. It’s a full infestation! He checks the picture Sarah gave him (she gave it to him already framed) and finds a bug in there. Chuck is not happy. He goes to see Casey and asks what all the bugs are. He tells Casey he can’t believe they’ve been spying on all of his most intimate moments. “Intimate. I don’t think so. At least not in the traditional two-person intimacy.” Chuck feels violated, and Casey’s ears feel violated, because he has to listen to Morgan and Chuck yammer on about what sandwich they would take to a desert island. Chuck is against taking mayo, because it won’t last on a desert island. Chuck stands by his mayonnaise theory and calls Casey a giant douche for spying on him. Casey asks how he found the bugs, and Chuck says a little birdy named Lazslo told him. You saw Lazslo without telling me? “Oh, I’m sorry, Casey. Did I violate your trust?” Chuck is a little ticked off.

At the Weinerlicious, Laz’s handler comes in and asks Sarah if she has a sec.

At Chuck’s, Laz is in his room. Chuck says that all he said to his handlers is that Lazslo’s innocent; he tells Laz to turn himself in so his handlers can help him. Laz says that after the feds have framed him for murder, he doesn’t think they’ll just give him a slap on the wrist. That there’s something bigger behind the murder frame. I don’t trust this guy, just so y’all know. And didn’t we already do the episode where Chuck decides to trust someone else over Sarah and Casey? He tells Chuck he needs a place to hide for the night. Just for the night. Chuck says there is one place…

At Weinerlicious, Sarah is questioning Laz’s handler about Laz’s story. Handler says that Laz is a mentally unstable weapons designer, off his meds, currently running around L.A. This guy found Laz, trained him, and wants to bring Laz back. He thinks Laz wants to make a bomb.

At the Buy More, Laslo is so happy that he gets to stay there overnight in the surround sound room and promises to be out before they open. Laz says that if everything works out, Chuck will never see him again. Chuck says good luck disappearing. Laz has helped himself to A View to a Kill, and Chuck decides to stay for the beginning of the movie. Sarah calls, and Laz gets Chuck to turn off his phone by telling him that if Chuck’s handlers find him, it’s like signing his death warrant. Or unsigning some other people’s! Don’t listen to him, Chuck! He also destroys Chuck’s CIA watch so Sarah can’t find them. Chuck says he was right about the bugs, and Laz says that he also disabled the GPS in Chuck’s car for him. Chuck asks how he broke in but realizes that Laz must have designed it. Laz says, “Just think. Right now, there’s no one in the world who knows where we are.” Sarah should put a tracking device in all of Chuck’s shoes for moments when he decides to be overly trusting of people.

Sarah is in her car, calling Chuck over and over. She leaves him a message to go to his car and stay there until she arrives. Meanwhile, Chuck and Laz have finished watching A View to a Kill, and Chuck says that Max Zorin is one of the greatest bad guys of all time. Laz says Zorin’s not the bad guy, he’s just like the two of them. I hear the koo-koo bells ringing! Chuck says that yeah, wanting to sink California into the ocean is bad, and other than a few choice people who could easily be transported east to Arizona, I have to side with Lazslo on this one. ;-) Laz takes over the controls of the surround room and says he designed that too. He designed, like, the whole world! He starts to reroute a stealth bomber from a Guam training exercise. He says, “Would you like to play a game of thermo-nuclear war?” Seen War Games too many times? Laz thinks Texas is a great target. “What did Texas ever do that was so great.” THOSE ARE FIGHTIN’ WORDS! TEXAS PRODUCED ME! Laz decides that the nine hours from Guam to Texas will take too long, so he decides on San Francisco, a closer target. Well, as long as he leaves Texas alone. Chuck’s like, “Hey! Um, let’s watch Goldfinger!” Laz asks what it’s about, and Chuck says it’s about a misunderstood guy who just wants to blow up the world. Right up Laz’s alley. Laz says they can play with the blow-up-the-world system later and calls off the bomber.

Chuck says he’ll just go get some more popcorn, and he leaves the room to check his messages. He has thirty-four. He hears the message from Sarah telling him to stay in his car, and he runs out to his car. He gets in, and Laz asks where they’re going. He is, of course, in the passenger seat. Because, you know, he designed the car. Laz is mad that Chuck dragged his handlers into this, and he’s mad because Casey, Sarah, and Laz’s own handler show up with guns drawn. He just can’t believe crazy ol’ Chuck sold him out.

Laz takes over the video game console in Chuck’s car and peels them out of there really quick-like. This car has a license plate of NRDHRD3. I’ll look for next week’s to be NRDHRD4. Chuck and Laz fight for control of the car. Casey plays chicken with them, veering off at the last moment. Laz tells Chuck it’s been fun and does some finger magic with the control panel. There’s a red button. DON’T PUSH THE RED BUTTON! NEVER PUSH THE RED BUTTON! Laslo pushes the red button. Chuck’s door flies off, and his seat ejects out through the door space. He slides along with his car and seatbelt, through traffic, down the street, burning up his Converse trying to stop himself. He comes to a stop at the red light and says hey to the ladies in the next lane. I don’t think we’ve heard the last of that Lazslo character.

Sarah comes in and tells Chuck he looks great for his interview. Chuck is sad about screwing up the thing with the next Ted Kaczynski, and Sarah promises they’ll fix it. Chuck says, “No wonder you bugged my room.” You know, being worthless and all. Sarah looks guilty and sees the Comic Con picture in the trash. Sarah says that just because Chuck trusts people doesn’t make him an idiot. She says Casey got a signal on the Nerd Herd car, because the GPS somehow got turned on again [yeah, ok, that’s not at *all* a diversion], and Laz is heading east, and Sarah will call him from the road. She tells him good luck.

Ugh, I feel like crap. I got glutened a couple of days ago, don’t know how, and the effects still haven’t worn off.

Morgan walks into the Buy More in his nice gentleman’s suit (with vest and tie, sans jacket), looking all dapper, and Big Mike (dressed as a very flamboyant pimp) says it’s the most awesomest costume ever. Morgan is like, is today Halloween? Cute. He runs into the Mystery Crisper peeps and says he doesn’t know what that game is. He sees Chuck, who asks him why he’s all dressed up, and Morgan asks him back (today Chuck is in a *blue* shirt and tie instead of his normal *white* shirt and tie). Chuck says he has an interview, and Morgan says, “Well, bully for you, Chuck.” It’s cute and funny. “You think you’re the only one at the Buy More who cares about looking professional? Typical.” Morgan walks away, Harry Tang walks up and scares Chuck, who is scanning in and drops his wallet. He picks it up and sees the doodle from Laz. He has a flash. What? I totally didn’t see that coming.

Chuck calls Sarah and tells her that Laz isn’t heading east, he’s going to the Santa Monica pier. She has found the GPS to the car taped to a big rig, which they found downtown. Chuck tells her that Laz was casing the pier the day they met.

Chuck asks to borrow another Nerd Herder (car), but they’re all out, and Big Mike reminds him of his interview. He really wants Chuck to get the job because the other option is Harry Tang. Chuck says there are some things more important than the Buy More. As he runs out, Big Mike says, “Like fishing and danish?”

Chuck steals a bike from outside the Buy More, and the HR guy comes out of Big Mike’s office yelling for Chuck. Morgan says he doesn’t know where he is, and Harry starts to taunt Morgan. “First Chuck bails on you and your space penis costume…” That’s funny. It does kinda look like a space penis. Not that I’ve ever scene space peni. He tells Morgan to start interviewing for a new best friend. He scares Harry a little and then goes in to make a speech to the HR guy on Chuck’s behalf. Part of it includes that Chuck can quote The Wrath of Khan word for word and that Chuck has a wicked vinyl collection. Morgan stands up and extends his hand to HR at the end of the speech, and HR doesn’t shake it. “Some speech.” He tells Morgan that when Chuck comes in tomorrow, he’ll be working for Harold Tiberias Tang. KHAAAAAAAAAAN! Frank tells me that Tiberias is Capt. Kirk’s middle name.

Chuck arrives at the pier, via bicycle, and finds the Nerd Herd car. Laz is there and mentions the self-destruct feature of the car. He tells Chuck to relax and tosses him the keys. But Chuck’s key-mote, upon touching Chuck’s thumb, opens the engine (or is it trunk?) to reveal a bomb. Chuck’s fingerprint or thumbprint has activated the self-destruct thingy. Casey calls and tells Chuck that someone has just armed the Herder, and Chuck says yeah, that was me. Bad Chuck!

There’s less than thirty seconds on the bomb, and Laz gives Chuck some wire cutters and tells him to disarm the bomb by cutting the red wire. He says to do it just like Sean Connery does at the end of Goldfinger. But Bond only has 0:07 left on the clock when he disables that bomb! That’s cutting it way too close, Chuck. Anyway, Chuck’s like, what? You said you never saw Goldfinger! You lied to me! Huh. He’s tipped off by Laz never having seen Goldfinger, but not by the crazy-psycho-wants-to-blow-up-the-world thing. Sarah and Casey come up with guns, Sarah yells Chuck’s name, Lazslo yells, “CUT THE RED WIRE, CHUCK!” and Chuck cuts the green wire. How many seconds are left on the clock, I wonder? 0:07? No way!

Chuck walks into the Buy More and sees his new boss, Harry Tang. Chuck walks off while Harry is talking to him. One of the Nerds tells Chuck that Morgan gave the speech to the HR guy to try to get him the job. And that some loser stole Morgan’s bike. Oops, I think that loser was Chuck.

Chuck goes home fast and finds Morgan there with an empty space penis costume. Now we have a creepy slo-mo of them trying to get across the room to each other. Chuck tells Morgan he should be the space penis head this year. The costume is a big hit. Chuck tells Ellie he didn’t get the job, and Sarah walks up and says it was his fault. She’s dressed like Leah. They go to Chuck’s room, and she takes a picture of the two of them, because she wanted to have a real picture of them. Morgan comes in and says everyone is calling for the penis, and Sarah says she’ll see them outside. Morgan’s like, what was that about? Chuck, hamming for Casey’s bugs, says, “Sarah was just saying that if she were stranded on a desert island, she would take roast beef.” They are both utterly appalled at this, and Casey is appalled at his new life. Awesome! Casey has a picture of Ronald Reagan right next to him. I wonder if Adam Baldwin added that? :-D

Next week, we finally find out why Bryce made Chuck a target.