Chuck, Sarah, Morgan, Sister, and Captain Awesome are playing a Newlywed Game type game, and Sarah is picking the olives off her pizza. Morgan knows everything about Chuck. Chuck’s most hated person ever comes up, and Morgan is like, “Duh! Bryce Larkin, Sarah! He was horrible!” That’s a little awkward for Sarah and Chuck. Someone is spying outside. Chuck walks Sarah to her car and asks her about Bryce. Were they more than partners? No, just partners, of course. Liar! Poor Chuck. Sarah says that’s all in the details, and Chuck brings up that they need to know those… um… personal details for future game playing. She says their cover story should be that they’re being prudent, taking it slow.

Frank thinks Morgan is getting creepy, that he’s overstepped the friend line. I think he’s just feeling left out now that his best friend has a new girlfriend. What say you?

At Sarah’s hotel room, or maybe furnished apartment — she has a gold fish there, after all — another ninja comes in to attack her (what is it with the ninjas?). Sarah spots the ninja’s reflection and makes a weapon out of soap and a sock. The two of them fight, using everything in the room as weapons except Sarah’s gun, which is kicked out of her hand as soon as it’s out of her purse. Sarah gets a bloody nose, and when the fight is over, the ninja girl picks up Sarah’s goldfish (instead of Sarah’s gun) and puts it back in its bowl. We learn that ninja girl is some girl Sarah knows from the DEA (undercover name “Karina”). She’s looking to steal a diamond and wants Sarah to help her. Sarah’s like, “Why didn’t you just call?”

That Bee Movie short was funny. “Ray, you’re not paid to just talk. Act, would ya?” Haha, it’s funny because it’s coming from Jerry Seinfeld.

Chuck sees Sarah’s friend the next morning and realizes she’s an undercover DEA agent. Inside Casey’s apartment (next to Chuck’s), they’re being debriefed, Chuck, Casey, and Sarah. NSA/CIA want to go along with it and steal the diamond. The owner of the diamond is an international financier for the opium cartel. CIA/NSA want to send them with Chuck to Alawi’s compound to scope out the place one day and then send them back without Chuck the next day to steal the diamond. Everyone is in agreement that Karina can not be trusted around Chuck, including Casey, who is all awkward about her. CIA man says that yes, they know all about what happened in Prague with Casey and Karina. It’s apparently sexual. CIA says that under no circumstances should Karina be entrusted with the diamond, never ever. Chuck’s like, “What happened in Prague?” but after getting the look from Casey, he decides he doesn’t need to know. Outside the apartment, Karina is waiting, and Casey is not happy to see her. She says it’s nice to see Casey with his pants on. They say Chuck is an analyst and introduce Karina to Morgan, a civilian.

At Best BuyBuy More, Morgan is bragging to the Geek SquadNerd Herd about meeting Karina. Chuck throws out that she called him Martin instead of Morgan. The Nerd Herd guys say Morgan wasn’t meant to mingle with the opposite sex.

At the weenie place, Karina wants to know more about Chuck. Sarah says he’s her boyfriend cover. Karina pushes, Sarah tells her the mission is top secret, and Karina says she’ll just have to talk to Chuck herself. Sarah is against that idea. Karina also tells Sarah she’s sorry about Bryce. Sarah says it’s been hard, and Karina says, “Of course, getting dead is an occupational hazard.”

At the store, Morgan wants to date Karina, who doesn’t recognize Martin at all. The Nerd Herd see Karina and are like, “She’s too pretty for this store. I mean, isn’t there a nicer establishment where beautiful people can shop?” Yes, it’s called Amazon, and I shop there. Sarah shows up to argue with Karina, out of earshot of the Herd. “If you can get Sarah, man, that means that just about anything is possible.” After much prodding, Chuck agrees to try to fix Martin up with Karina. Frank has heard that one before! Karina tells Sarah she should know more about Chuck if she’s gonna trust him with her diamond, and Sarah says that it’s her op, so Karina must play by Sarah’s rules. Chuck takes Sarah aside and asks her to fix Morgan up with Karina, and he urges her to please say no. She says it’s a great idea. This will be most painful to watch.

Sarah requires Karina to go on a double date with Morgan and her and Chuck, “to protect Chuck’s cover.” Karina says it will be fun (after asking yet again which one is Morgan). They hang out at Chuck’s and watch a penguin movie. Karina is prodding for info, and Sarah is covering. Morgan doesn’t want to watch the movie, because he just wants to ask Karina questions such as, “Were you always this hot, or did you just recently find out about your hotness?” They’re having pizza again. They really like pizza. Chuck again watches Sarah pick off her olives. Morgan asks where Karina was last (she says she moves around a lot with work), and since they’re trying to watch the penguins mate, Chuck says, loudly, “Argentina, ok?” Sarah gives Chuck the look, and Karina looks surprised that Chuck knows where she has been (he learned it from his brain computer when he first saw her).

Chuck is sleeping, and Morgan calls him in the middle of the night, twice, to ask about Karina and whether he should call her yet. The third call he gets is from a Nerd Herd customer, and he’s the guy on call, so he has to go to the lady’s hotel to fix her computer. He gets there, and the computer damsel is Karina. She tells Chuck she lied to get him over there to find out who he is and what he’s up to. She says he can’t access her file to know about Argentina unless he has G6 clearance or higher. And she gives him a drink, which I urge him from the couch to please not drink, because she’s evil. She also starts undressing in front of him. She asks if he’s sleeping with Sarah, and Chuck’s like, “Uh, a gentleman never…” and she says that it makes sense that they’re not sleeping together, considering Sarah’s boyfriend, Bryce Larkin. Chuck’s face doesn’t look so good at this news.

There’s a commercial about driving a hybrid and how awesome and pious people who drive them are. Because everyone who doesn’t drive a hybrid is filthy and trying to kill the environment with pollution. Gag me. Better yet, gag the dirty hippy driving the hybrid and stacking trash on top of the other guy’s car. I kid, I kid. Don’t gag him, just throw him in the shower.

Sarah tells Chuck that the mission is just to find the diamond today and then get out, that they’ll grab the stone later. Sarah also tells Chuck to stick by her side at the mansion, because Karina is a wild card who cannot be trusted. Chuck’s like, “Yay! I’m glad you said that! Because Karina said you were with Bryce before he died, and I don’t want to believe that because I hate that guy and I’m glad he’s dead, and anyone who was ever his girlfriend should be double dead.” Chuck sees by Sarah’s face that it’s true, and he asks her if it’s true. She says it was complicated. Chuck is unhappy and leaves.

Chuck and Karina are at the mansion, strolling by the pool. Sarah is looking on from the other side of the pool. Karina tells Chuck to trust her. She points out Alawi, a most hirsute man by the pool. Chuck’s like, “Senor Wookie?” Chuck has scoped out all the security cameras and other surveillance for Sarah.

Casey is a valet outside the mansion party. A guy (presumably a security guard) walks up and asks Casey for a light. I’m pretty sure it’s the guy who broke Sydney Bristows arm and later caught her spying over Patel’s surgery and made her throw herself down that chute. Casey tells him, “Smoking can be hazardous to your health. Pick up a paper. From the ’60s.” I love his character.

Chuck, Sarah, and Karina break into the mansion (it’s a pool party, not a house party), and Chuck makes comments about Sarah and Bryce breaking into bedrooms. He’s bitter.

Senor Wookie and his posse enter the diamond room and tell them how very super bad it is for them to be there. Sarah tells him the door was unlocked, and Karina asks how she can get the diamond on her finger. They introduce Chuck as their brother. They stall by asking for info on the giant rock. Wookie says the owner of the diamond will rule the world. “What if somebody tried to steal it?” Chewy says no one can steal it because the room will get gassed and the walls will come down around the room, and security will off the perpetrators. The girls improvise their way out, and Sarah tells Wookie she’s interested in some of his paintings in the hall. Sarah and Wookie go to the hall, and Chuck has a flash of the security around the diamond. There are 20K volts of electricity protecting the diamond. Karina asks what Chuck will recommend for the next mission when they steal the diamond. Chuck recommends compressed air to knock the diamond off its pedestal. Like that fire extinguisher over there! Karina, of course, goes right for the fire extinguisher and shoots the diamond out of its stand, and Chuck catches it. Sarah knocks out Chewy while Karina and Chuck slide under the nearly-closed door. “Bad guys approaching fast!”

The three run outside, and Sarah saves Chuck from getting shot. In the driveway, Casey gets news via phone that Karina improvised. He takes out the security guard and steals his Hummer. He’s so pleased with himself.

Chuck, Sarah, and Karina are running down the beach, apparently not far from the mansion. Chuck has the diamond, and Karina says to toss it to her so she can get the heat away from the others. Yeah, because that wouldn’t be stupid at all. Sarah reminds him what she said about Karina being untrustworthy. Chuck’s like, yeah? Well, you loved that guy who ruined my life! So I’m gonna trust the one acting all suspicious! He tosses Karina the diamond. Karina, of course, has a remote-controlled jetski that pops up to take her away. Sarah looks almost as surprised as Chuck. Really? Because I knew that was gonna happen. Maybe Sarah should watch more TV and movies.

Casey shows up on the beach in the Hummer as Chewy’s guards show up. Casey shoots them and such. In the car, Sarah is mad at Chuck. She needs to know she can trust him in any situation, no matter how she’s feeling about him at the time. “Well, how was I supposed to know she had a remote control jetski waiting for her? It’s not like that’s ever an option in real life!” No, but she was *so* obvious. Casey says she’ll use give the diamond to her bosses and use it to move up the DEA’s covert ranks. Sarah changes into her weiner girl uniform in the car.

Karina, who thinks she’s a Bond girl, calls Sarah, and Casey uses that chance to put a trace on Karina’s phone. Sarah has to go off to her shift. Martin arrives at Karina’s hotel with flowers. She kisses him passionately (because she sees Casey coming) and passes the diamond off to Morgan’s bag, then pushes him onto the elevator and says they can’t be together because she’s trying to get over a relationship thing. Casey pushes her into her room and tells her to give up the pretty rock. She says Casey should start the search with her, and she starts stripping again. Who writes this crap, with all the stripping?

Sarah finds Chuck at Buy More and tells him to stay home tonight while she goes to Karina’s hotel. He says, what, I’m off the team? She says he’s benched tonight. I’da benched him too. He and Morgan go to Chuck’s to play video games. Chuck has a convo with himself while Martin has a convo with his own self. Martin says they kissed at Karina’s hotel, and Chuck’s a little shocked. He goes downstairs to get Martin another grape soda and some pizza. Martin happens to mention a video game that’s in his bag and tells Chuck he can get it if he wants to play it. I wonder if Chuck will find the diamond!

At Karina’s hotel room, Sarah picks the lock and then pulls out her not-at-all-concealed gun from the back of her waistband. She opens the door and finds Casey handcuffed to the headboard of the bed and gagged. Boys are so stupid. Sarah taunts Casey and then takes a picture of him with her phone.

Chuck finds the diamond (what? I totally didn’t see that coming.) and has another flash, this one involving the diamond and terrorists and beheadings and mushroom clouds (or fireworks). He calls Sarah and tells her that the diamond is way worse than a drug diamond. It belongs to an Afghani terrorist group, so it’s way super-dangerous. Sarah tells Chuck to call Karina and ask her to please pretty please bring her the diamond. The scene pans out, and Chewy and his posse are in the room — Chewy has a gold Desert Eagle to Sarah’s head. It’d be cooler if the DE were chrome.

Seinfeld is such a bad actor. But the Bee shorts are funny.

Karina shows up in her ninja mask at Chuck’s house and fights with Chuck over the diamond. He throws a plate at her head, and she says, “Ow.” He recognizes her and asks for her help. She’s like, we’re all in this thing for ourselves, duh, so no, Sarah will be fine without me. He brings up that Sarah saved her butt in Pakistan and says he’s going to save Sarah, with or without Karina. Karina tells Chuck to hold on to the diamond in case she changes her mind.

Chewy asks who Sarah works for. “Tiffany.” Haha. Chewy says he was holding the diamond for a very cranky, dangerous friend. Chewy and most of the posse leave with Sarah, while that guard who broke Sydney’s arm in Corsica stays behind with Casey, still cuffed to the bed. The big dude blows smoke in Casey’s face.

Karina opens the gun stash in her trunk, and oooh! Pretty 1911! And what is that, a Springfield XD on the bottom? The top one kinda looks like the shape of the LadySmith that Calleigh carries on CSI: Horatio. Karina opts for knives instead of guns, and she and Chuck go into the hotel to find Sarah. Sarah and the wookie are waiting in the lobby.

Casey breaks part of the headboard off the bed (and it was so pretty! How could you do that?) while Big Smoky is in the bathroom. He knocks out Smoky with the headboard when he comes out of the can.

Wookie wants the diamond, Karina says no, Chuck says huh?, Wookie says that everyone in the room is with him, and all the hotel staff and patrons show that they are, indeed, with him. That’s good, because I was annoyed that no one seemed to notice the giant gun pointed at Sarah’s head. Karina and Sarah talk in some foreign language, and they spring into action and start fighting Chew and the Gang. Chuck ends up with the diamond again (it’s been passed around some).

Casey, meanwhile, is riding the elevator, his hands still tied up with the headboard.

Back in the lobby, there is much buttkickery going down. Chuck escapes into the mailroom, finds a computer, prints a FedEx shipping label in about half a second (wow! That’s like lightning speed!), boxes up the diamond, and sticks on the label. A thug comes in, and Chuck threatens to mail the box if the guy comes any closer and says he has no idea where it’s going. I’ll bet he does. Casey knocks him out from behind with the bed. Chuck, surprised, accidentally mails the box.

Debriefing at Casey’s. No diamond for Wookie, he’s financially insolvent, and the super-bad terrorist in Afghanistan can’t buy surface-to-air missiles for an attack. Yay! And CIA/NSA receive the FedEx while they’re being debriefed. The team are proud of themselves.

Outside, they all say goodbye to Karina. Karina invites Chuck to her room. “As flattered and… intimidated as I am, why me?” She says she loves taking what Sarah wants. And Chuck brings pizza to Sarah’s room. Vegetarian, no olives (he’s been watching her pick them off — I like observant boys). Chuck wants to know one real thing about her. What about your middle name? Can you tell me your middle name? He walks off to get napkins, and she whispers that her middle name is Lisa.