Toby sees Pam kiss Jim on the cheek and sends out a memo reminding everyone about the company’s PDA policy. Angela tells everyone very loudly that she has never had a relationship with anyone at the office. Michael makes everyone uncomfy with talk of him and Jan, so Toby says that the memo was about Jim and Pam. They are officially outed.

Ryan will be coming to Stanford today.

Dwight brings Angela a feral barn cat named Garbage. She doesn’t want Garbage, she wants Sprinkles.

Jim and Pam go to Toby and ask if they need to sign one of those love contracts. Toby’s like, no, that’s only for relationships. Yours is just a casual thing. Jim and Pam say that it’s not casual, it’s pretty official. Toby says there’s no need, let’s just see where everything goes. Poor Toby.

Ryan is back. With facial hair that doesn’t look good on him. Everyone starts ribbing him. Kevin calls him Little Old Man Boy. Ryan says he must be treated the same way they treated Jan. Michael keeps joking around, and Ryan eventually snaps at Michael and tells everyone to respect his authoritah.

Ryan talks about how Dunder Mifflin is going to get younger, faster, more efficient, and have a business-to-business website so they can compete with the big box chains. Everyone is getting a crackberry.

Jim and Pam reveal to each other that Dwight and Angela are dating, and neither of them told the other. Phyllis walks in and is a little vicious to Pam. “You can’t assign sales calls based on who you’re sleeping with that week.” Whom, Phyllis. Whom.

Kelly and Ryan are fighting, and Ryan says that Karen asked him out six months ago and he didn’t go because he was so committed to their relationship. Liar! Liar! Liarrrr! Kelly tells Ryan she’s pregnant (she’s not). He asks her to dinner so they can discuss it. “We have a date!”

Dwight and Angela also have a date, I presume so that Angela can break up with Dwight officially. (She wants it in a public place.)

Jan comes in to see Michael and runs into Ryan. There is much tension.

Creed freaked Michael out by telling him that “younger, faster, more efficient” means they’re going to force anyone over forty out of the company. Jan tells Michael that they can’t discriminate based on age, and this is the first Michael has ever heard of anything like that. They truly are made for each other in a sick, twisted sort of way.

Creed has showed up with black hair (to make himself look younger, no doubt, but he still has a giant, hair-receding forehead).

Michael has called everyone into the conference room to tell everyone that new ideas are illegal because they discriminate against old people. All the ink in the printers is gone (Creed must have used it to color his hair).

Michael brings in Mr. Dunder, the founder of the company (Edward Quartermaine on GH). Mr. Mifflin killed himself. Everyone is bored, so Michael shuffles him out and tells everyone that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks because it’s illegal.

Angela and Dwight go to dinner. She says, “I heard a joke today.” “Oh? Was it funny?” “Yes. It was.” Angela breaks up with Dwight, because every time she looks in his eyes, she sees Sprinkles. She will leave his toothbrush on top of his tire tomorrow.

At the office, Dwight makes up an excuse to talk to Angela and tell her he misses her. She takes him to the elevators and yells at him. He just wants to say that he misses her. “And I love you.” He stomps off.

Kelly doesn’t understand why lying about being pregnant is bad. “We’re never getting back together.” “Whyyyyyy?” She’s so clueless.

Jim and Pam have an adorable exchange. Jim: “Now that everyone knows about us, is the magic gone?” She says yes, now she finds him repulsive. He says it was fun while it lasted. She says, “Eh.” “Well, for me it was.” “Okay.” They’re so precious!

Michael is pairing everyone up to take gift baskets to former clients, because they’re way better than bringing the business into the current age. Everyone except Dwight says it’s stupid, so Dwight and Michael set off on The Quest together. “No websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.” LOL.

Ryan is trying to downsize Kelly and outsource customer service to India. And yes, Kelly is Indian.

Dwight thinks Michael should use the GPS in his car, because it lets “them” know where you are at all times. He starts crying over Angela.

Ryan impresses Kevin and Andy with his stories of life in the city. Kevin starts calling Jim “Tuna” along with Andy. After Ryan leaves, Kevin and Andy tell Jim that Ryan is so awesome and could get any girl he wants.

The former clients are unimpressed by the gift basket. One says that it’s about money and that Office Depot’s website is really easy to use. Another says it’s about the money, and if the website cuts costs, he’ll think about it.

At the office, Ryan asks Pam if she wants to do some mockups for the logo for the new website. Dunder Mifflin Infinity. She does.

Michael trusts in the GPS so much that he drives them into a lake. Then the GPS says, “Make a u-turn, if possible.” They both go out the windows, which were open. Michael tries to get back into his rent car (his own is in the shop to remove the Meredith dent) to save the gift baskets. Michael did not get the rental insurance.

Michael decides that they will walk back to the previous client to reclaim their gift basket. They go back, start screaming at the guy, drain their wet clothes on the leather couches and scream that they won’t leave until the client hands over the turtles that are missing from the gift basket. He ate them, so Dwight says they’ll bill him.

Ryan and Pam go over the website logo mockups, and Ryan asks Pam out to dinner to spend more time going over the mockups. She stammers for awhile and then says she’s going out with Jim. He stammers and leaves her desk. Jim is dumbfounded and not making eye contact with anyone. “Well, I guess he can’t get any girl he wants.”

Michael comes back in and says they will not be using new technology in the office, ever, because he trusted technology and drove his car into a lake. “Game, set, match. Point… Scott. Game over. End of game.” “Computers are about trying to murder you in a lake.”

Ryan: “I’m not saying I had a meteoric rise. But I did. And if they knew how much I was paying for my haircut now, they wouldn’t be giving me a noogie. It’s $200.”

We both thought this one was funnier than last week.