I think the girl model, Josie Maran will be the first to go. I also think they need to cut this show down to half an hour. Hour-long results shows beat me down, except on American Idol, because man, can ya get a lot of snark out of those.

If Josie Maran doesn’t go first, I think it’ll be Mark Cuban.

FLOYD: I think we tore it up. Whatchoo think?
KARINA: I think we tored it up!

Tored. It. Up, y’all.

Hey, Mark Cuban, have you sold your company for billions of dollars? Because I haven’t heard that forty times since Monday night.

Yes, I like Zoolander and Helio the best of the men. Of the women, Jane Seymour, the Cheetah girl (sorry, girl can daaaaance), and I’m hoping Jennie Garth pulls it together.

Question: If that’s possibly the best cha cha they’ve ever seen, why didn’t it get straight tens? Hmm? Anyway, that’s a fun dance.

Sabrina and Mark are safe. Yay!
Jennie and Twiggy are safe. Yay!

Dolly Parton sang “9 to 5.”

One of the viewers from the audience wanted to skinny dip in Cameron Mathison’s eyes. Okie dokie.

Helio and Julianne are safe. Yay!
Zoolander and Anna are safe. Yay!

Someone’s gonna tap dance, but Bionic Woman is on, so… Hey, this guy and his cohorts are pretty good. They should have these guys come on and dance all the time instead of having the professional show dancers do their lascivious mechanic dances.

Wow, I can see Dolly’s bra. She’s singing something like, “You better get to livin’.” Okay, she sings about “you better get to thinkin’ about where you’re going…” Later she says you need to pray every day. And she is singing in. her. bra. With her woo-woos bulging out of it. I hate to be the modesty police here (oh, who am I kidding, I love being the modesty police), but does she really need to sing about prayer and eternity in her bra? Oh, Dolly.

Kenny Maine does a funny history of dance.

Mel and Maks are safe. I think Maks might have some fans.
Cameron and Edyta are safe.
Drew is still wearing far too much eyeliner.

Jane and Tony are safe. Yay!
Cheryl and Wayne are safe.

Josie and Alec are in the bottom two.

Floyd and Karina are safe.

Mark Cuban and Kym are in the bottom two. Cuban looks not happy.

I’m still predicting Josie to go home.

And she is. The models are always the first to go.