This is definitely my 2nd-most anticipated season premier (first being CSI: Horatio).

Mohindar is talking about destiny and saving peeps and humanity and stuff. And in the last four months he has discovered a disease that would do away with the 4400… um, the X-Men… no… the Heroes. This is the disease that killed his sister years earlier. He’s mentioned global warming within the first thirty seconds. Oh goody.

That guy from Sneakers whose voice said, “My voice is my passport. Verify me,” seems to be stalking Mohindar. He wants to buy him a drink. Free black cherry soda! Yay!

Maya and Alejandro are new characters, running from the cops in San Cristobal, Honduras. They’re jumping a fence! They’d better not be sneaking into America illegally! Oh yeah. Honduras doesn’t border us. My bad. Oh! They *are* going to sneak into America! And they’re wanted for homicide. Later, they get in the back of a truck that will take them as far as Sonora. Why stop there? Mexican trucks are coming into America uninspected anyway, why not just cross on over? We won’t stop you!

Hey! It’s the cheerleader! HRG has put her in a new school and told her to not even think about trying out for cheerleader. We think HRG should get thin-rimmed glasses so he won’t stand out so much. She says that’s so behind her… yeah. Not on this blog, it’s not, babe. Oh no. Cheerleader has a car. She’d better not unbuckle her passengers’ seatbelts! And some guy almost hit her with his car. I’m betting he’s going to be a love interest or a new friend.

It’s 1671, and Hiro is outside of Kyoto. And he’s met Kensei! Kensei’s sword is in his left hand, for future reference.

WeissParkman is kicking pinkytoe rescuing hostages in Manhattan now. I guess he recovered from his Vaughn-esque bullet wounds. Oh. Training exercise. “I’ve wanted to be a cop my whole life. Four bullets to the chest aren’t gonna change that.” I guess it was an audition for the NYPD. Maybe we’ll meet Mac Taylor along the way! I like Mac. Weiss is in.

Claire and the car guy (his name is West) are in class together! Who could have predicted? He says she’s either a robot or an alien.

Parkman is either fostering or has adopted Molly — the tracking program girl. Her teacher points out that he has an unstable situation. Divorce (I told Frank earlier that he was probably divorced if he was living in Manhattan — his wife was a whore anyway), bullet wounds. Molly has been drawing the Kensei symbol, and her pictures are getting progressively worse.

Ando and Hiro’s dad (George Takei) are sitting in front of the ugly orange sculpture talking about Hiro. Someone bumps into Ando. Later, Hiro’s dad opens his newspaper (Ando had gotten it for him), and a picture of Mr. Nakamura with Kensei’s symbol over it (in blood, presumably) falls out. He tells Ando he’ll be dead in 24 hours. Do we know what his power is?

Nathan Petrelli walks into a smallish apartment (I guess his own), and he is the man who had bumped into Ando. Dun dun dunnnnn. He has a major terrorist beard. Mrs. Petrelli (mom) tells Nathan Petrelli that he killed his brother, drove his wife and kids away, all that. He calls her evil and sends her away. She walks out, and there is a picture of her with Kensei’s symbol over it! She looks very afraid.

Hiro has rescued Kensei, or so he thinks, from the people shooting arrows over him in another eclipse. The man says that Kensei can keep his money, and he runs away. Kensei comes out from behind a tree, and I go all gooey, because I know what’s coming. He threatens Hiro, and Hiro says, “I’m your biggest fan! I heart you! You’re teh awesome hero Kensei!” Mistuh Sahhhk takes off his mask and says, “I am Kensei, but I’ve never been called a hero.” Or something like that. I was too busy fanning myself and clapping with a high-pitched squeal over the appearance of David Anders. Please let him be on this show forever and ever.

Haha. Chuck and Jayne work at Best Buy, and now HRG works at FedEx Kinkos (under fake names, of course). It would be funny if he worked for Dunder Mifflin. HRG’s new boss reminds me an awful lot of Dwight Schrute. We’ll call him Schruty.

Mohindar’s stalker works for “The Company.” HRG’s former company. The Company wants to help some of the Heroes and eliminate some of the Heroes. We’ll call this guy Midas, because he can turn things into gold. He says he can help Mohindar cure the disease. But Mohindar cured Molly of it, so why can’t they just use his blood? I think Midas has impure motives.

Parkman and Molly are in Mohindar’s apartment. Are there any apartments in New York with light paint on the walls? Does everyone live in a crypt? Molly asks Parkman if he cheated on his detective’s exam by reading minds, and he’s like, “It’s my talent,” and she gives him a hard time about it. Then Parkman wants to talk about Molly’s drawings, and she flips out and yells that she doesn’t want to talk about it. Asks if she can go eat in her room, and Parkman says yeah sure. He needs Cesar Millan. “A child muss have rules, boundaries, an limitations. Also, exercise and discipline before affection. Eating in the room is affection. You give affection first, no discipline, no exercise. She is de pack leeeder.”

The brother and sister are looking at Mohindar’s dad’s book in the truck. The drivers are trying to bribe them for more money or for the sister to ride in the front with the leering one, and eventually the brother gets beat up and left in the jungle, and the sister is taken, and I’m bored with this storyline.

Claire is in gym at her new school, and the cheerleaders are being awful to Claire’s badminton partner. Robot/Alien guy calls Claire a robot. Frank says re: the head cheerleader, “They didn’t make cheerleaders that attractive when I was in school.” My response? “Hey. You’re not supposed to find her attr… oh, whatever. I’m gonna be drooling over Mister Sark anyway.” Frank thinks the head cheerleader makes Claire look plain. Her? I think Claire’s way prettier. Claire starts to prove to the cheerleaders that she can do anything they can do, and I’m all, “Oh noes! She’s gonna stand out!” She chickens out or gets smart.

Parkman hears Molly’s dreams. The evil one can see her.

Claire waits till everyone leaves, does the back tuck off the tower, breaks her leg, fixes it. Robot guy comes in.

HRG breaks Schruty’s finger when he just won’t quit being a jerk. Schruty says he’ll leave him alone.

Hiro’s visions of Kensei’s greatness are dashed. Kensei is British, came over on a ship from England. He has not fought Black Bear, has not fallen in love with the swordsmith’s daughter, and has not saved the village of Otso, has not defeated the bearded man (Nathan Petrelli?). In fact, Hiro smells the village burning and realizes he hosed up history by pulling Kensei out of harm’s way and teleporting him away. I love that they made Kensei British. David Anders is American, but he had the British accent for playing Mistuh Sahhk. And now he’s British again. That accent is right sexy on him. Artistically speaking, of course. The swordsmith’s daughter slaps Kensei when she walks by, the swordsmith has been taken hostage, and Otso is all burned up. Swordsmith’s daughter takes the sword, forged by her father, both Hiro and Kensei call it “mine,” and daughter says she’s going to go rescue her father. Hiro annoys Kensei, and Kensei punches him to the ground and says he would just like to find a pub.

Have we ever had an explanation for why Nikki/Jessica has Kensei’s symbol on her shoulder? I thought maybe she was the swordsmith’s daughter and the grey bearded man was Linderman, but Linderman is dead without Sark coming to the future, and we just met the swordsmith’s daughter. So much for my mad predictin’ skillz.

Angela Petrelli and Mr. Nakamura meet on the roof where The Company seem to like to meet. The picture is of the two of them, the two pieces fit together. There are nine left of the original company, apparently, and Mr. Nakamura thinks one of them is killing them off. Mrs. Petrelli looks like she’s been through the ringer.

Hey. It’s the conclusion of the Heroes premier. Nissan made it almost commercial-free. Thanks, Nissan!

Ando says he’ll help Mr. Nakamura because of his friendship with Hiro. Mr. N says, Ok, I need a sword.

The Bennetts are all together around the table. Anything interesting happen today? Claire and HRG are whistling and saying, “Nope. Nada. Didn’t draw attention to ourselves in any way.”

HRG gets a call from Mohindar. Mohindar says the plan worked, the company tracked him down in Cairo, and he’s in. HRG is very pleased, because they’re going to take down The Company. We’re talking about the paper company, right? As long as it’s not Dunder Mifflin, and “The Office” stays on, I’m fine with it.

The central or south American girl has apparently killed everyone in the truck. She didn’t mean to, but she made black oil come out of all of their eyes. Her brother has caught up to her, and they know they must get to New York to see Mohindar’s dead dad. Frank went and looked at the graphic novels just now. The one from last week, had Frank read it, would have made them more interesting. Apparently she killed a whole village except one boy (a witness) and her brother. She made black oil come out of their eyes, too. Where’s Mulder when you need him?

Claire calls Nathan, and he is in a bar. He looks in a mirror and sees himself all burned up. Kinda looks like Freddy Krueger. Claire doesn’t think she can be someone she’s not. Outside her window, Robot/Alien guy is watching her from a tree. He’s flying. That’s not a new power! I feel cheated. He flies away. I guess he’s an alien. Unless he’s The Boy Who Could Fly, in which case he would be a robot. Or was that guy an alien? I can’t remember.

Someone shows up to kill Mr. Nakamura. Hiro’s dad says, “Of all of them, I never expected it would be you.” Ando shows up with a sword for Hiro’s dad to fight with just as the mystery guest dives off the roof, taking Mr. Nakamura with him. They hit the pavement.

In Cork, Ireland, the detective from CSI: Horatio who killed himself at the end of season three (dated Calleigh) and two henchmen show up to get something from a shipping container. I’m guessing the CSI guy is going to be a new regular character. They open the container, and it is empty except for… Peter Petrelli! Yay! He fends them off with one of his powers. He’s wearing Kensei’s symbol around his neck and does not know who he is or how he got those powers.

The ep is to be continued.

Other than the new Latino characters (and not because they’re Latino, just because dark jungles with vague people are a little boring), I thought it was a great premiere. Probably because of Mistuh Sahhhk. Frank thought it was solid but not spectacular. Yes, well he doesn’t have a crush on Kensei, does he? Thank you, Heroes casting director.