or the Harpies as I like to call them.

Hot Topics: They’re talking about Ahmadinejad coming to New York. UN, Columbia, all the usual suspects. Whoopi thinks it will be so “interesting” and it’s hard to know the truth about a monster unless you listen to what they’re saying and “hear it from the horse’s mouth,” which Elisabeth terms the [pinkytoe]’s mouth. Here’s something straight from the horse’s mouth, Whoopi.

America and England are “criminal,” and Israel is straight from Satan. “Death to Israel.”

Whoopi says she thinks she doesn’t like him, but she’s not sure yet. I guess she’s waiting to hear him say it on American soil. Because he wouldn’t *possibly* pander to his American audience and say nice things. Or who knows, maybe he’ll pull a Chavez. And Joy is so glad that we give freedom of speech to everyone here! I hate to inform the uninformed, but freedom of speech in America is for Americans. And people actively warring against our country (supplying weapons and terrorists to Iraq) just shouldn’t get to come here as guest speakers and diplomats and have freedoms that he doesn’t even allow people in his own country. In case you can’t tell, I’m in favor of kicking the entire UN out of New York.

Next, the Harpies talked about what Biblical command would be hardest to comply with if people lived the way the Bible says to. I think they’d have the hardest time not taking the Lord’s name in vain. None of them brought it up. Whoopi wishes people would get butt acne, though.

Jimmy Smits is on to talk about his new show “Cane.” It doesn’t look that interesting to me, so it’s not on our list of premieres to watch.

Joe Biden was on. Frank and I moved the crow’s nest into the garage. Elisabeth is always the most respectful to people with whom she disagrees. Joy could learn a thing or two from her.

Zachary Levi, the guy starring as the title character in “Chuck,” was on after that. That one was already on our list of things to watch. He’s a cutie (that’s not why we’re watching). I love that overgrown lawn look that the guys are doing with their hair (him, Jon Krasinski from “The Office”).

I can’t believe they thought they were going to get away with adding only Whoopi as a cohost. What a bore.