Sorry, y’all. This episode of the Idol finale preempted by Family Guy, the stupidest and least funny show in the history of the world, followed by The Simpsons.
I’m not even kidding. The 1st hour of my 2 hour Idol finale is Family Guy and the Simpsons. Which means I’m going to get 1 hour and 8 minutes of the finale.
So thanks, Fox. Thanks for nothing. Makes me even happier that I won’t be watching next season.
Anyway, no liveblogging tonight, because what’s the point. See y’all for the X Factor next year!
This… is the last week I watch American Idol with any consistency! Disclaimer: I will watch if Harry Connick Jr. or David Foster replaces Simon and they keep Ellen. Ditching Kara wouldn’t hurt, either.
Boooo. Simon’s last week on the show. But yay, more free time. Except maybe not, because I’ll watch X-Factor.
Crystal and Lee run down the aisle onto the stage at the Nokia Theater. I’m so glad it’s these two, they actually deserve to be in the finale. I can’t remember the last time the two best were in the finale. Season 4 with Carrie and Bo? Probably. Anyway, Crystal’s been my favorite all season, but Lee’s been my second favorite for most of it, and I don’t know who I want to win. I’ll be happy either way. Love them both. NO THANKS TO THE JUDGES’ SAVE, WHICH TRIED TO KEEP IN A CONTESTANT THAT WE OBVIOUSLY DIDN’T WANT, OR HE’D BE HERE TONIGHT.
Yeah, not a fan of the judges’ save.
Anyway, Crystal won the coin toss and gets to go second. After the break and all.
So there are three rounds. First, each sings his/her favorite song from the season. Second, they sing a song chosen by Simon Fuller, so he can sabotage whichever one he thinks will make him less money. Third, they sing the song they’ll release if they win. I hope it’s about hurricanes and rainbows. It’s what we all want to hear in preparation for our yearly Idol-finale-related purge.
LEE is singing “The Boxer”. I’m underwhelmed–sounds like the first time he did it, so I’ve already heard it, ya know? Randy thinks it wasn’t the best he’s been. Ellen loved it. Kahra liked it. Simon is DASHING tonight. Simon would like a lot more passion tonight so he’s disappointed. He says it’s like wanting a kiss on the lips and getting a kiss on the cheek.
Adorable pics of Crystal as a teenager. She’s singing “Me and Bobby McGee”. And this is the kind of performance they need to bring tonight. Yeah, same as before, but so full of energy, especially the 2nd half. RANDY: It was dope. ELLEN: I’ve said it before, but I’ve said pass the salt many times, and I don’t care. You fill up the room. Stunning. KAHRA: I loved it when you first did it, and I loved it tonight. You have fire in your belly. SIMON: This brought me back to the time when we first fell in love with you. We’ve got a competition tonight.
Round one to Crystal.
Simon Fuller has chosen “Everybody Hurts” for LEE. Ok, uhm, let’s all say it together: SABOTAGE. I mean, tell me, people. What can he do with that song? It’s great for hangin’ out in the rumpus room playing Scrabble and listening to tunes, but what a CRAP song choice for Idol. If Lee had chosen this song, the judges would have been all over him about song choice. He sings it fine, sounds great, but it’s boring for Idol. At least now I know who the producers have picked to win this season. Sorry, Lee. Maybe if you’d smiled more, they wouldn’t have tried to kill you off in the last episode. That said, once he found out he was singing this song, he should have changed his pick for the first round to something more exciting, and he didn’t. RANDY: That was definitely better, because I could feel your passion in it. Started out pitchy. ELLEN: I felt like you went off a couple of times, but I don’t really care about that, because it’s about the performance. You got exciting a couple of times but then pulled back. Don’t pull back. KAHRA: Not a perfect vocal, but I love that about you. Blah blah blah. SIMON: Brilliant choice of song for me. You went a little off melody at times, but what I’m feeling from you tonight is that you’re nervous. And you’ve got another song to come. I think you’ve really got to grasp what this night can do to change your life. When you come out for your last song, I want to see a 10 out of 10.
Yeeeeaaaah. Told you it was sabotage. Crystal gets “Black Velvet”. Can do so much more with this song than with Lee’s song. And she takes it above and beyond what even I was expecting from her. Outstanding. RANDY: Mamasox is in it to win it! ELLEN: The wardrobe changes, it’s like a Cher concert in here! That was fantastic! KAHRA: Tonight is the night to give it your all, to kill yourself on that stage. You want it, you can tell. SIMON: I had a little bit of a problem, because I’m almost allergic to that song because people have murdered it in auditions. But you took that song, and you absolutely nailed it. I’m very impressed.
Yeah. Round 2 also goes to Crystal. She’s gonna win the heck out of this thing.
Last chance for Lee. If he wins, he will release “Beautiful Day”. The U2 song! So no hurricanes and rainbows! I guess my yearly purge will have to wait for tomorrow night’s group sing. I’m pretty disappointed. He didn’t do all he could have with it, and I would have expected more from the big last chance to sing for his supper. Oh well. I’ll still buy his 2nd place album. Love the guy. RANDY: Once again, it started off a little interesting, you walking around. By the middle of the song, hitting the high notes, you started getting your groove, and that’s the Lee I love. ELLEN: Watching you grow to where you are right now, watching you taking in every bit of these people’s energy, I’m so proud of you. You did a great job. KAHRA: You got a bit swallowed up in that song, it had good moments and bad. SIMON: You made the most of it. This is my last time judging on this show, and I want to say you’re what this show is about. Regular guy who needs a break. You deserve to be here, I’m glad you’re here, you’re nice, etc.
Crystal’s single if she wins will be “Up to the Mountain”. I don’t know this song. I’m loving it, though. The girl is wonderful. Clear winner tonight and all season long. She got all emotional and teared up at the end. I almost did too, but I’m pregnant, so a freaking ladybug makes me cry. RANDY: This is what this show is about. An amazing song by an amazing singer. This is one of the greatest performances and one of your best moments on this show, at the perfect time. That was incredible. ELLEN: You’re always looking for someone unique, someone we don’t already have out there right now. I can’t compare you to anyone out there right now. If you’re making an album, I’m buying it. If you’re going on tour, I’m going on tour and watching. If you’re making a salad, I’m eating it. KAHRA: Lots of words about walls and entrails and stuff. She loved it. CRYSTAL says good luck on your endeavors, etc, to SIMON and thanks him for all of his criticism and help this season. SIMON: Thank you. Crystal, since it’s becoming a bit of a love fest tonight, I thought that was by far the best performance and the song of the night. And since this is gonna be the final critique I’m ever gonna give, I would like to say that was outstanding. FRANK: I wanted him to say, “Since this is the final critique I’m ever gonna give, I still have to add that it was horrible.
RYAN says we’ll all miss Simon.
Yes, I’m crying over the last critique Simon gave. Because I love him and all that. Boo hoo.
Will Young, the guy who sings this year’s going home song, “Leave Right Now”, is singing it onstage now while they play a tribute to the season. He’s a Pop Idol winner or something. Love his voice.
So. Finale tomorrow night, and there will be livebloggage. I mean, as soon as I get home. So DVR-delayed livebloggage.
Thanks, America, for finally sending Mike home. I love you again. Oh, and thank goodness the judges can’t force him on us again, right? We told you no once, judges. I don’t like the judges’ save.
Um… WHY did Ellen pick a song for Crystal that repeats “maybe I’m a man” over and over? UM. But yeah, she was awesome on it.
Lee on “Hallelujah” was brilliant. It’s hard for me to decide between him and Crystal. He’s come so far this season. I think he might win it. I’ll be happy with either one of them, because they’re the best of Idol this season.
I’m glad Casey was top 3, but he was boring on top 3 night, and once again the Judges’ Sabotage worked to send him home. But he should have gone home. His own choice for the night was a snoozer, and while I do think he’ll have a big career, I don’t think he’s as good as the other 2.
So yay, we actually have a top 2 that makes sense. And yes, I’ll be liveblogging the finale nights, because LOST will be over, and Frank will let me watch Idol.
Please go take the American Idol survey and tell them how much you hate Kahra (as a judge, not as a person), miss Pauler, and love Harry Connick Jr.
All I want to know is: how in the world does Harry Connick, Jr. only have three Grammys?
Oh, um, this is American Idol, and I LOOOOOOOOVE Harry Connick Jr. He’s writing all the compositions and arrangements for this week, which is awesome. “You think Shania Twain was up in here doing this?”
So it’s Frank Sinatra night, and I’m so glad that they saved it for this late in the season, because I sure hate it when more than 5 kids destroy Sinatra tunes. Simon lurves Sinatra, and Nancy and Tina Sinatra are there to give him one of Frank Sinatra’s monogrammed handkerchiefs, and Simon is touched.
Haha. Aaron is up first, and when he comes in to rehearse, Harry calls him Big Mike. Harry actually teaches him a little about music. Aaron’s singing “Fly Me to the Moon”, and if even Harry can’t make Aaron good, there is no hope. You know, this was actually pretty mediocre, so I’d call it his best week. Randy and Ellen love it, but Ellen calls the piano pitchy (Harry’s playing piano). Kara and Simon like it ok, but Simon says if Sinatra was a lion, Aaron was a mouse.
Before Casey sings, he’s on the Tool Stool, and Harry comes over to say, “I want you to remember one thing: Don’t screw it up!” Casey sings “Blue Skies”. Ouch, second note is pitchy. But the rest is good. Ellen: “I don’t know whose idea it was, but it was a bad idea to have the piano on stage.” Haha. Randy and Ellen hate it, and Kara calls him on his goat vibrato. Simon says the band was great but Casey wasn’t fantastic and thought Casey came across as embarrassed. Ryan asks what Harry thinks. “To be honest, I thought you were better in rehearsal. You killed it two hours ago, but that won’t help you right now.”
Crystal is singing “Summer Wind”. Harry has no advice for her, because she’s awesome. She’s brilliant on stage. Randy thinks it’s okay and sleepy. Ellen wanted her to loosen up more, but she loves her. Kara liked it even though she wouldn’t have seen Crystal singing this kind of music. Simon doesn’t think it was the best song choice (indulgent) and thinks she’s had two okay weeks in a row. Crystal gives the judges a little schooling on how to sing a song.
Big Mike is singing “The Way You Look Tonight”. Once again, he doesn’t do anything for me, and once again, the judges love him. I don’t get how they didn’t like Crystal but liked this snoozefest.
Lee is singing “That’s Life”, and did I mention my love for Harry? Lee is the best of the night, easily. Randy loves it. Ellen says that at first she was distracted by Harry’s organ (ahahahahaha) and then says Lee would have won with that performance if this was the last night. Nobody cares what Kara says. Simon says Harry’s been absolutely incredible. Says that Harry brought out Lee’s personality and confidence, and it was by far the best performance of the night. Agreed on all counts.
My order: Lee, Crystal, Casey, Mike, Aaron.
I already watched the results show, so I know that Mike and Aaron were the bottom 2 (thank you, America) and that Aaron went home (YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!). I think this bad boy’s gonna come down to Crystal and Lee. Also, in the results show, I was giddy the whole time over Harry. Best. Mentor. Ever. You know, if he took over for Simon, I’d actually watch next season. David Foster is the only other person I’ll make an allowance for.
Anyway, yippee, Aaron’s gone. Next week, Mike!
This… is American Idol. And this… is going to be sucktastic, because they’re doing hurricanes and rainbows songs. I can’t WAIT! Well, obviously I can since it’s Thursday morning and I’m just now watching. But hey. Making a person, so give me a break.
You know, Big Mike, there’s nothing I love more than white jackets. As you know, the ’80s were the most brilliant decade for fashion EVER, so it’s good you’re drawing clothing inspiration from there.
Alicia Keys is the inspirationally inspired mentor, and she’s big with the philanthropy and loves Idol Gives Back. Wait, let’s talk about that for a second. Idol seriously needs to reconsider its IGB timing for next year. The week after I’ve drained my savings account for tax day is a very bad time to ask me for money. Because, you know, I have none.
Casey is up first, and he’s boring on “Don’t Stop” by Fleetwood Mac. Kinda just doing the same thing every week. We know what his album will sound like already, so he needs to step it up and do something else. I’m not saying lose the bluesy vibe or stop playing guitar. Just stretch your vocals, dude. RANDY: Yo dawg, you’re boring. ELLEN: I have to be hard on you. Be great. It wasn’t great. KAHRA: Lots of words, very little to say. SIMON: I’m amazed you chose that song, because this week’s theme is hurricanes and rainbows. That wasn’t inspirational at all. Lazy song choice.
Coca-Cola once again giving generously to Idol Gives Back. We know it’s because of my Coke habit, so you’re welcome.
Lee is doing “The Boxer” by Simon & Garfunkel. I’m sorry, but slow, boring songs don’t inspire me. Sounds good, but next. RANDY: I’m probably one of your biggest fans, and I think you’re gonna have a big career. ELLEN: Beautiful song choice. You have so much soul and depth in you. Best performance by far, I think. KAHRA: Simon said a few weeks back you had your moment, but I think you had it tonight. Lots more blah blah blah. SIMON: That was inspirational, and you made it sound like it was written a year ago. Absolutely brilliant.
Tim is doing “Someplace Simple” by the Goo Goo Dolls. I guess that was inspirational or something, but it wasn’t special, and the beginning was all kinds of pitchydawg. Next. RANDY: Ok good karaoke for me. You didn’t do anything with it. It just kinda laid there. ELLEN: You’re like the soup of the day. Sometimes I like the soup, sometimes I don’t like the soup. I’ve liked your soup, but today, I didn’t like the soup. KAHRA: Many words to say, it wasn’t your best performance. SIMON: I think if it had been your first performance, we would have been impressed. You have improved over the weeks, but it was a little bit of a letdown.
Aaron is doing “I Believe I Can Fly”. Of course he is. He hasn’t started yet, but we can just assume I hate this hard. Yeah, I didn’t love it, because he sucks. RANDY: You did a good job with a giant song. ELLEN: There was a brief period in the ’70s when I believed I could fly. Tough song, you handled it real good. KAHRA: By the end, you were flying. SARAHK: Shut the hell up. SIMON: I think we have to put this into two parts. On the one part you, we like you, and you’re brave to take on that song. In the real world, if I’d heard that on the radio, I would have turned it off within ten seconds. SARAHK: I’m glad at least one of you is sane.
Siobhan is doing “Miracles”. The first half is really good, and then the wheels fly off when she goes up for the second half. And then the very end is good. I like hearing her hit a non-screaming high note. RANDY: You probably picked the toughest song of the night. I don’t know why you picked it. It was just ok for me. SARAHK: Better than most of the crap they’ve been putting on tonight. ELLEN: I disagree with Randy, it showed why you’re here. KAHRA: I still don’t know who you are. SARAHK: Read her freaking bio and shut up. SIMON: I agree with Randy. And the leaves distracted me on the closeups. [She’s wearing creepy butterflies on her arm and shoulder.] SIOBHAN: They’re butterflies. SIMON: They look like leaves. SARAHK: Hahahahahaha. SIOBHAN: I’m… not… going… to… be… intimidated… by… a… song… because… of… who… it’s… by. SARAHK: Slow down, you’re talking too fast.
Big Mike is doing “Hero”. Not the Mariah one, the other one. Oh my word, he just pointed at the camera. Kill me. Vocally, it’s good, but as we all know, I don’t get him at all. I just don’t like the kind of music he sings, so I’m always utterly bored. Though the pointing was a nice touch to wake me up. RANDY: I was worried about this song for you, but you held your own with it, dawg, it worked out. ELLEN: Great job. KAHRA: Not my favorite. Song became unrecognizable. SIMON: I think you sang it pretty well. But the theme tonight is inspirational songs, and that was about Spiderman, wasn’t it? MIKE: No! It’s about being a hero! SARAHK: Hahahahahaha. SIMON: But it’s about Spiderman. SARAHK: Hahahahahahaha.
Crystal is last, doing “People Get Ready”. She really likes the gospel music, and I dig her. Alicia Keys was a good mentor. Crystal starts out a capella, no instrument today, backup singers onstage with her. Oh my goodness, poor thing couldn’t even finish the song, she started sobbing. Had to just speak the last line. Made me cry, but you know, pregnant hormones. Best of the night–the others were just renting space on her stage. Wow, that was corny. Sorry. RANDY: Unbelievable, standing O. ELLEN: You have never looked more beautiful, you keep evolving and growing. That was so beautiful. KAHRA: Thank you for putting your guitar down. SIMON: In another league. THAT was inspirational.
Crystal
Lee
Casey
Siobhan
Mike
Tim
Aaron
Bottom three prediction: Siobhan, Tim, Aaron. I already know who goes home, but I would have predicted Tim, since Aaron is impervious because the tweens are trying to destroy my calm.
This will be brief, but I have opinions.
Aaron. “The Long and Winding Road.” Please just stop already. Please, I beg you. And tweeners, please stop voting for him. You are draining my soul out through my busted eardrums.
Katie. “Let It Be.” This was the first time I’ve liked her at all, very well done. The whole first half, she sounded understated and very country, and even when she tricked it up near the end, it was enough but not too much. Oh, as I type that, Ellen says the same thing. Simon says she sounded country and that’s why it was good, and I agree, and the other judges don’t.
Andrew. “Can’t Buy Me Love.” Hated the song choice, liked what he did with it. But the kids really need to STOP doing this song on Beatles night. Also, LOL @ Ellen: “First of all, you can buy love. Right, Simon?” Hahahaha. But this show has absolutely stopped being a family show.
Mike. Um. Did he say he and his family were in a singing group called the Lynche Mob? I’m sorry, but that’s clever. “Eleanor Rigby.” I did not enjoy this at all. But I just don’t *get* him. David Cook did this much better. Oh my goodness, Kahra is STILL talking, and it’s the next day. Also, Randy really plugs Glee any chance he gets.
Crystal. “Come Together.” This could have been corny, and it wasn’t. Loved it. Oh crap, she forgot lyrics for about 2 seconds, but she covered it really well. Ah, just when you think Kahra’s going to have a short critique, she says, “And I’ll tell you why.” And then you know it’s going to be longer than normal.
Tim. “All My Lovin’.” I liked it. It didn’t blow me away, didn’t stand out, but it was good.
David Boreanaz in the house!
Casey. “Jealous Guy.” Lovely, woo, great job. A little goaty on the vibrato, but I loved it. One of my favorites of the whole season.
Siobhan. “Across The Universe.” That was pretty beautiful. I got bored a couple of times, but at other times, she reminded me of Sarah McLachlan. Also, I loved that she didn’t scream. Didn’t love the birthday cake dress.
Lee. “Hey Jude.” He was pitchy several times. I still liked it, and I loved the kilted bagpipes player. LOL @ Ellen again: “Even when that guy got separated from his parade…”
Casey
Crystal
Siobhan
Lee
Katie
Andrew
Tim
Mike
Aaron
Wow. So I’m shocked, because with the exceptions of Mike and Aaron, both of whom I NEVER like, everyone was good. So it’s hard to predict a bottom 3, because Mike obviously has an inexplicable lot of fans, as does Aaron. So… bottom 3… ack. Um… Tim, Andrew, Siobhan. Going home… Andrew. And that’s unfortunate, because he shouldn’t go home yet.
Thank you for your requests, demands, and interest. I’ll get back to Idol blogging soon. Probably not until Idol is back to 1 hour on Tuesdays. I just do not have time for 2-hour shows right now, which means 3-4 hours of blogging for me. I’m trying to get ready for the baby, spending a ton of time on that, plus I am paid for a specific number of posts on another blog, and those have to come before Idol posts. But soon Idol will be back to 1 hour (I think in 2 weeks?), so you can expect me to start blogging it again then, if not sooner. To tell you how busy I am: I haven’t even watched last week’s performance show and was relieved that the DVR accidentally didn’t record the results show.
So. I’ll be back soon.
Tonight we find out who the top 12 are. This… is American Idol.
Lovely. Randy photoshopped on a bikini body.
And now the top 16 are singing Michael Buble’s “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet.” It’s nicely done, very well lip synced.
Next week will be Rolling Stones week. That should be perfectly disastrous.
Didi is up first. She’s in the top 12 and gets to have a seat on the Tool Stool. Yay!
Siobhan is next. She’s wearing a bird in her hair. Seriously, it is not a good time to be a bird in America. She’s in. Have a Tool Stool, Siobhan!
Paige and Katelyn are up together. One of them is in, and one is going home. Katelyn will go, but I don’t think Paige should be in the top 12. Paige is in the top 12, and Katelyn goes home. And she’s worse in her swan song than she was Tuesday night. Then she breaks down crying. Poor girl.
Casey is in!
Tim is also in!
So it’s between Lee and Todrick. Randy says they both deserve a spot, but Lee really does and has been consistent.
Lee is in the top 12!
Todrick is out.
Katie has been crying throughout the whole show. She must be sure she’s going home.
Scott Macintyre & Matt Giraud are out at pianos doing “Tell Her About It.” Oh, and now a little quickie dueling solo action. That was a fun little ditty. So Scott has an album out now, good to hear. Matt has a #1 single on the iTunes jazz charts.
Crystal looks very pretty and glowy again tonight. She is in the top 12. Yay!
Michael is up. Kahra says that the person listening to Michael sing a song he connected to personally really FEELS it. Really? Because I listened to that and did not feel anything but not-getting-it. Anyway, he’s in the top 12.
Lacey is up, and she’s in. Good for her.
Aaron Kelly is up. He’s in. I hate you, tweener voters. You can go die for all I care.
Because that means that the only guys left are Andrew and Alex, and one of them has to go home.
Andrew is in, Alex is out. So so wrong.
Poor kid, he’s really close to tears. And Siobhan is totally in tears. They should let him stay and have a top 13. I mean, they expanded the top 12 to 13 last year for boring old Anoop Desai, and they can’t expand it for Alex? FAIL.
So it’s now down to Katie and Lilly. Yes, Lilly is wearing birds again.
What the WHAT???? Katie’s in, Lilly’s out?? Seriously, I’m punching the next tweener I see. Punching in the FACE. I’m glad this is my last Idol season, because I’m tired of the tweeners ruining my life every spring. Hate you, tweeners. Hate you hard.
This… is American Idol.
Ooooh. Simon is wearing dark grey. Like that color on him. Ryan calls Kahra Simon’s binky, and it’s a whole weird thing, especially since Simon doesn’t know what a binky is.
01 Lee Dewyze is doing “Fireflies” by Owl City. He sounds good. A few pitch problems here and there, but mostly it’s good. Apparently, this is an electronica song. RANDY: For me, it was a strange song choice. Couple pitch problems here and there. You made it work, you worked it out. ELLEN: Yeah, I like that you made it a little rock. Yeah, there were a lot of pitch problems, but I don’t think that’ll matter. I’ve talked to a lot of people who have crushes on you. You’re adorable, it was great. KAHRA: You look confident tonight. That’s what we’ve been waiting for. I think you actually made the song a better song with your interpretation. Not your best moment, but very solid. SIMON: There’s nothing to rave about with that song. You didn’t have a moment. Having said that, I’ve seen the progress over 3 weeks, I’m really glad you’re here, I think you’ve got a great shot at making the top 12. SARAHK: He’s in.
02 Alex Lambert is doing Ray Lamontaigne’s “Trouble.” This is quickly becoming an overdone Idol song. That said, he’s doing this very well. A little understated, actually, but I love it. He probably could have done more with it, but he didn’t need to. Just love his voice. RANDY: I liked it, I just wasn’t jumpin’ up and down. I feel like you could have done a little bit more with it, and even slowed it down. ELLEN: Boo! Boo! Boo! You’re becoming a mushy banana. You are consistently good, every single week, you get better and better and better. I love your innocence. You need more confidence, but don’t become cocky. No one likes a cocky banana. KAHRA: The only thing standing in the way of you winning is you. You have so much, but you’re still stiff. Be you. Let go. SIMON: I think you’ve kinda gotta get yourself mentally somewhere else. We’ve never really seen you relaxed and having a good time. You’ve kinda gotta imagine Randy in a bikini. Stop staring down the lens and concentrating on the cameras. You’ve got a really good, distinct voice, and people like you as a person. You’ve got to get that out of your head. I will get Randy in a bikini next week if you’re here. SARAHK: He’s totes here.
More snark…
Ryan is all dramatic about the girls. And this… is American Idol.
Ellen’s sitting on Simon’s lap, whispering sweet nothings or kissing him or something.
Simon says this is the worst night to go, because you’re so close to the top 12 and then you fail.
01 Katie Stevens is doing Kelly’s “Breakaway.” Wow, she’s pitchy early in the song. And less early. Ok, she’s pitchy for most of the song. No intro videos, by the way. The song’s really short, I expect they all will be, and her voice was shaky at times and pitchy at others. This is the worst she’s been, actually. RANDY: A’ight, yo. First one out the box tonight. Kelly Clarkson’s one of the greatest artists we’ve ever had, and that’s one of my favorite songs ever written. SARAHK: Mine too. RANDY: And it was karaoke. It just didn’t work for me. I didn’t get it. ELLEN: First of all, I like that you took a young song. That was a great song choice. I didn’t feel those words. I didn’t feel you breaking away. It’s a singing competition, but let’s see some personality. KARA: You have a great radio voice. SPIKE: And face. A great radio face. SARAHK: She’s pretty. And she’s 17, give her a freakin’ break. SPIKE: Hello… Evil? KARA: Blah blah blah. SIMON: I think this has been very confusing for you, because you’ve had an awful lot of advice. You’ve taken that advice. I think your issue is you haven’t decided what kind of artist you want to be. The problem was that the 2nd half of the song didn’t go as it should have done, and you kind of sucked… all the energy out of it. But I give you a 10 out of 10 for effort.
02 Siobhan Magnus is singing “House of the Rising Sun” as a special surprise for her dad, because she grew up listening to her dad sing it on the piano. That’s sweet. She’s starting it out a capella and very pretty. And when the musicians come in, it gets even better. Ok, that was fantastic, definitely voting for her. RANDY: You know I’m already a fan. Every week you surprise us. That was different, started out on a somber note. We give you a lot of advice, and you don’t listen. Keep doing that, because it’s working, it’s hot. ELLEN: I’m from New Orleans, I know that house. You are why I love music. Because it’s supposed to move you. I was captivated, I love what you did with the song, you made it current, and you’re spectacular. KARA: I loved the a capella vibe at the front. And the thing about you is you are so unique and different, week to week I’m surprised by you. SIMON: I wasn’t quite such a fan of that. I thought it was all a bit weird. If this was the first time I’d seen you, I would have real doubts. You didn’t do anything different. I was underimpressed. There was no moments in that. It was all a bit plodding, a bit boring, a bit dark. SARAHK: We’re on yet another break.
More snark…
I’m so happy that I don’t know last week’s results yet. Somehow I managed to avoid hearing on Twitter, Facebook, and SRM.
The sound for this show sounds like it’s being run through a robot filter.
Ooh. Simon thought he got praise of one contestant wrong and that when he watched it back, one of the contestants was so bad that he had to turn it off.
Oh dear. Group song is “I’ve Gotta Feeling.” I’m embarrassed to say that I like this song. Except the parts where they’re just talk/yelling. But the “I’ve gotta feeling” parts are catchy. You don’t have to shame me, I shame myself often on this account. They’re totally lip syncing this one. And yes, they sound better than the BEPs. Not surprising.
Tim is safe. He and his stupid hair will be back next (this) week.
Todrick is asked to keep standing for a while.
Big Mike is safe.
Casey is safe.
So now it’s between John and Todrick. I think John will go home.
John is out. Todrick is safe.
Lee is safe.
Aaron is safe.
Alex, one of the most adorable boys ever, is safe.
It’s down to Jermaine and Andrew. There’s no way Andrew goes home.
Andrew is safe. Jermaine is out.
Ryan asks if Jermaine thinks his mouth got him in trouble. Jermaine says no. He says he respects a lot of the guys who are there doing their own thing. And in God there is no failure. And “most of all, everybody need to go out and get a onesie.” If you say so.
Now Danny Gokey is singing his new single “My Best Days Are Ahead of Me.” I like him. And apparently he went with a country sound for his album, because Randy Travis told him he needed to. He does sound good with the country flair. And he’s about to go on tour with Sugarland.
It hurts me that Bones won’t be back until April.
Lilly is safe.
Paige is safe.
Oh man. Looking at the rest of the row, I fear Didi is going home. :(
Katie is safe.
So it’s down to Didi and Michelle. Kara says that as moved as she was in the room last night, when she watched it back later, it wasn’t off. And she thinks Michelle may be in jeopardy.
Didi is safe! Michelle is out. Wow. America apparently agrees with me. And I wonder if Michelle’s who Simon was talking about.
Katelyn is safe. And also now wearing birds on her ears. I’m starting to fear for the bird population.
Crystal is safe.
Siobhan is safe.
Which means it’s down to Haeley and Lacey, both of whom I had picked to go home. I think it’ll be Haeley. Lacey’s wearing a peacock in her hair. Simon says it’s very obvious who’s going to go home.
Haeley is out. Lacey is safe.
Ryan asks what she’s gonna do when she gets back to school. “Um… learn?” Haha.
I’m loving this swan song music, whatever it is. Someone tell me what it is, so I can buy it. Haeley is fighting tears through her final song.
So that’s it for last week. I’ll get to blog tonight’s show either tonight or in the morning, so please come back for it!
Ellen has dressed up more tonight and Kahra’s not so dressy.
01 Crystal Bowersox has a twin brother, whom she describes as a square. Yeah, well my sibs call me the same thing, so he must be awesome. She’s singing CCR’s “Long as I Can See the Light” and plans to put a gospel twist on it. I love how she has her dreads pulled back in a bulbous ponytail. No, I really do love it. She looks so much cleaner tonight. And holy smokes, her voice. She’s brilliant, and this is brilliant, and she’s kind of the one to beat this year. RANDY: Yo, Crystal. I gotta say this. To me, in life, truth is reality. You are the truth. You do what you do. I just love that you’re not trying to be anyone else. I love that girl. That girl is hot! ELLEN: That is pure, raw, natural talent. There’s nothing forced, nothing pushed. I was so scared for you, and I’m so glad you’re here today. KAHRA: You completely recovered from last week. It just didn’t fit you. This is who you are. You are Americana rock. Tonight, you actually hit a new level. SIMON: I know how sick you were, you really were ill, and I didn’t know if you were gonna be back here this week. What I like is that you didn’t play the whole sympathy thing, you chose a great song. I completely misunderestimated you from last week. This was like the moment we realized with Kelly Clarkson that we’ve got a serious artist here. And I think we’ve got a really serious artist with you. Congratulations. SARAHK: Ok, I have to say, she just looks a whole new level of gorgeous tonight that she hasn’t looked in the past. She has like a glow. Oh, also? I’d love to see her do something by Dave Matthews Band.
02 Haeley Vaughn is singing Miley Cyrus this week. I hope it’s that one Miley song out of all of them that I actually like. And it is. “The Climb.” She makes headbands and puts giant, ugly flowers on them. And then wears them onstage. She doesn’t know how to not smile, but she’s gonna try not to smile as much onstage tonight. I’m not loving this. It’s hella pitchy, and when she tries to do this high note at the end, she gets cracky. RANDY: You want me to keep it real, right? It didn’t work for me, man. It was excruciating. It was so pitchy and just so not right for you. You had no connection to the song at all. ELLEN: First of all, don’t ever stop smiling. You’re adorable. I did not feel you connected to the song. I didn’t feel like it worked out. KAHRA: You have kind of the Alex Lambert factor, you have people rooting for you at home. You’re real, and you’re a really good performer. Unfortunately, honey, you need about a year of strengthening your instrument. Because you do have talent, but it’s very inconsistent. SIMON: Look, I agree, I don’t want to make this any worse than it already is. Because it was a complete and utter mess. In theory, it should have worked. There’s a bit of an irony in you singing that song about climbing, when really, you fell off. SARAHK: Yeah, it was bad. And I’m sorry that Kahra did the condescending “honey” thing with you. No one should have to endure that.
More snark…
01 Michael “Big Mike” Lynche. “This is a Man’s World.” Booooorrrrrrrring. Sounded like something you might play while you’re having sex, not something you’d want to hear on the radio. Bleh. RANDY: Standing o. SARAHK: Um, ok. ELLEN: Loved. KARA: I didn’t get it until tonight. You went from singer to potentially great artist. I don’t know what you ate between last week and this week. SIMON: I think a lot. What a difference. Exactly the right kind of song. Didn’t sound dated. By far the best performance you’ve given in the competition so far. SARAHK: Yeah, he sang it well, but I just don’t get slow R&B as Idol songs. Same reason I was utterly bored by Ruben Studdard.
02 John Park. “Gravity.” Man, what is with all the gettin’-it-on music? This was boring, too. Vocals were fine, but meh. RANDY: You didn’t add anything to it. ELLEN: Right song choice, not enough soul, better than in rehearsal. Try to feel the song more. KAHRA: Way better than last week. My concern for you is the connection. I don’t always believe it. You need to let loose, don’t be safe. SIMON: I think “Purple Haze” may get their lead singer back this week. It’s what I call a so-what? performance. In 20 minutes, we’re going to forget that. SARAHK: Yep.
Apparently, Ellen’s thing is to dress down, and Kahra’s is to dress up. Gotta go with Kahra on this one.
03 Casey James. He’s wearing a girl’s shirt. SPIKE: So are you, pet. SARAHK: Yes, well, I’m a… nevermind. CASEY doesn’t own a TV. He’s one of those. He also has some secret pre-show ritual that he won’t tell us about unless he makes the top 10. He’s singing “I Don’t Wanna Be.” Electric guitar and everything. He’s great, love him. Wow, and he’s doing a big ol’ guitar solo right there on the American Idol stage. RANDY: I love you channeling all those rockers. I don’t know if you did the best vocal, but I could see you doing this music as an artist and winning. ELLEN: Such a great song. Sounded great, loved the guitar. On paper everything is there, but there’s a stiffness about you. Perform more, but everything else is great. CASEY: I’ll give you more. KAHRA: Look, we all know, the cougar is a fan. Tonight you took two steps backward for me. Tonight everything that was distinct about you went away. SIMON: Did he not return your calls, darling? KAHRA: No you didn’t. SIMON: Last week you chose a great song. This week, you turned into anyone you will see in any bar across America. You don’t have the grit in your voice for that song. CASEY: That hurts a little. SARAHK: Simon, we’re on a break.
04 Alex Lambert. He’s kind of adorable and has major stagefright and usually throws up before performing. “Everybody Knows.” Out there with his guitar. Love love loving this. RANDY: This is such an improvement over last week. It didn’t sound as soundalike as in the past. Really enjoyed that, man. Way legit tonight. ELLEN: It’s like someone took that unripe banana and put it in the paper bag. So much better than last week. Such a great voice under that little mullet. You are somebody I’ve never seen before. KAHRA: Everyone’s rooting for you. Great tone. You’re gonna learn what to do with that voice. SIMON: Alex, that was a million times better than last week. The only time you should be nervous is if you’re useless, and you’re not. But I don’t get the impression that you’re in this to win. You don’t have that killer instinct. I wish I was choosing your songs for you right now. From here on in, I don’t want to hear anymore about nerves and that nonsense, because you’re a good singer. RYAN: You get what he means about the killer instinct, right? See, when I fail, Simon is thrilled. SIMON: And I’m constantly thrilled.
More snark…
The Amazing Race. Go cowboys! They are just owning this race. Pretty smart guys. Also, they always make sure to have gays and/or lesbians on the show, and that’s fine, but I don’t think they’re doing the gay community a big service, considering that all the gays they’ve had on the show have turned out to be whiny babies. Just sayin’. One more thing: I was sad to see the moms go home. Kinda wanted to see Phil give them a pass and let them continue on. Oh well. But yay for the dad/daughter team coming in 2nd!
Chuck. Boooooooooo. Sarah/Sam + Shaw = Booooooooo. But that’s cool that he broke up with Hannah. She’s a spy anyway.
Big Bang Theory. Oh, how I’ve missed you, Sheldon! Funny episode.
The Middle. I loved the ending, where Brick missed the word because of the whispering. Hahahahaha. And then slamming over the mic stand. So anti-Brick.
Modern Family. “He comes from a long line of fishermen and smugglers. But I encourage the fishing.”
The Office. Man, that was a hilarious episode, one of their funniest ever. Breastfeeding the wrong baby!!! That was one of the funniest things they’ve ever had on the show. Also, Oscar: “The hospital will provide dictionaries! Take a thesaurus!” Hahaha. Also, Erin and Andy. “YOU read the fax!”
Community. “We have to find this person for Abed. Unless it’s a boy, and then we need to find him for Jesus.” I love her.
Parks and Recreation. “April, you’re like an angel with no wings.” “So like a person.”
Psych. LOL. Lassiter, sunglasses moment.
Caprica. Well well. Look what show just got more interesting to the Spike-ieth power. It actually started getting interesting last week. Now I’m hooked. Please let Barnabus be a permanent fixture.
CSI: Miami. I liked when Horatio & Delko went to L.A. together. But I hope they’re not going to do a CSI: LA spinoff. I’d much rather have CSI: Anchorage or CSI: Boise. CSI: Yellowstone.
CSI: NY. I love Mac. Also, the pimp/drug dealer dude was funny. At first I thought he was supposed to be some kind of European–English, Scottish, Irish, and then he morphed into weird deep southern.